Valleys of tears
by Breeyar98
Summary: In an alternative universe an andalite child is born, one who might change the outcome of the war between the yeerks and the andalites. Better than it sounds, rated for later chapters. Continues in the sequel "Son of the wind"
1. The beginning of the end

**Authors note: Not long ago I submitted a story called "Fortunes of war". This is no deleted because I felt like it had taken a turn for the worse. Instead I do now start again, and this time I will follow the originally inteded story line, which is completely different from what I wrote in fortunes of war. Valleys of tears is the first part of a tale I have planned will be divided into four different "books". **

**Anyway, please give a feedback, everything is appriciated, especially constructive criticicm!!!!! **

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**V****alleys of tears**

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**Chapter 1: The beginning of the end**

**Harilin Nirsam ****Anaza's POV:**

He was born the second day in the second month, the day when the sun turns, and winter is replaced by spring. It was one of those cold and crispy mornings where everything seemed unnaturally clear, and yet something was amiss. I could feel it in the way the wind washed over me as I went outside for my morning run, as it whirled and whispered around me I knew that today something would be different. This was a special day, a life changing day.

I swiftly made my way in the opposite direction of our scoop, leaving my husband behind. He would not wake up before sunrise, and this was still a couple of hours ahead.I was headed for the mountains, surrounded by the thick and gloomy fog which always consumes our land before the sun awakens. With aching legs I dragged myself up the last hill, and finally I could collapse inside a small cave, curling up to rest on the soft sand which covered the ground. It hurt to lie down to for that matter, but I needed to rest my legs. The foal I carried had become increasingly heavy during the last two months, and had thus put a terrible strain on my joints. He was unusually heavy too, the doctor had said, but then again this was only a sign which indicated health. The question was wheatear or not I would be able to carry him. I already had two daughters, and was considered to be quite old, at least when it came to having children. The year before the number of children allowed had been raised from two to three, and my husband had been thrilled. Like most males he had always wanted a son, and thus he had gotten one last chance. It was a necessary consequence of the war I suppose. To many warriors died in battle, and to compensate for this more children had to be born.

I sighted heavily and rolled over on my other side, desperately looking for a more comfortable position. The child was kicking and moving inside me, and I instantly knew that the time had come. If I had obeyed my husband and allowed him to bring me to the hospital, I would not have experienced any pain, but for some strange reason I had decided not to. I wished to be alone. Somehow I knew that this was the right thing to do, and having already given birth to two children, I did have some experience. Nevertheless I almost passed out as the first wave of pain hit me.

My son was not making this easy for me, and I knew that this was only the beginning. At least I was pretty sure that my child would be a male, he sure was heavy enough! In our society male is the preferred gender, and it was now forbidden to check wheatear or not an unborn baby was male or female. This way couples would not request abortion if the child was female. Halfway through my pregnancy the pain had become almost unbearable, much due to what I presumed to be a tailblade pressing against my ribcage. A tail blade that was too broad to belong to any female. Personally I would rather have another daughter, not a son which would be brought up to consider me to be inferior. But, then again I knew I would love him either way. The curse of motherhood I reflected. I would love even the most gruesome child, as long as I had been the one carrying it.

The pain threatened to tear me apart as I neared what I hoped with all of me was the final stage. My body was covered in sweat, and I was shivering badly from a combination of pain, stress and exhaustion. And then it was over, the pain slowly subsided, leaving behind a dull ache in my hindquarters. Slowly, and with much effort I scrambled up on my hooves, turning around to examine the child. He was a dangly mess of long gangly legs and dense babyfur, and he was beautiful. Seemingly huge golden eyes gazed questioningly up at me, and his surprisingly developed tail was poised, a broad blade glimmering at the tip. But what really got me was not his exotic eyes, no, it was his fur. It held a rich blue color, and symmetrical black stripes ran along his body. He was marked; he was a chosen one, the first male to bear the Anaza traits for thousands of years. I bent down, and gently trailed my fingers along the three stripes that marked each cheek. The Anaza was the most feared clan in the ancient time of our world, a clan of war, but also a clan of beauty.

He would become great, this I knew. But, he would also be hunted, and I could not protect him forever. With that I turned around, leaving the cave. He scrambled to his feet behind me, afraid of being left behind, and on the second attempt he managed to keep his balance, following me on wobbly legs. I watched with anticipation as he hesitantly joined me, gazing at the world outside the cave with wonder. The sun had just awakened, bathing the landscape in a golden light, and I smiled as he fearfully buried his face in my fur. "Hush", I comforted, gently rubbing his back. He gazed up at me again, eyes doubtful, before he hesitantly stepped away from me, already eager to explore his surroundings. It surprised me that he suddenly seemed to unafraid, so curious. Only minutes after his birth he was perfectly content on his own, sniffing the flowers and rolling in the grass. Brave and independent already, and yet he was still so vulnerable.

We slowly made our way back to the scoop, enjoying the warm sun and the first signs of spring. I sensed happiness in him as he trotted beside me, happiness and curiosity. Sometimes he would send me telepathic pictures, portraying various things. Mostly flowers and trees he did not understand, but also feelings. It takes at least a couple of months before a foal learns how to form coherent sentences in thought speak, so instead they communicate in pictures. He sent me another image, and I sensed a slight tingeling of nervousness in him as we neared the scoop. He could smell the strong scent of my mate, which seemed to intimidate him slightly. The smell told him that this area belonged to a dominant male, and while he did not know that this was his father, he was afraid. It was instinct, and completely unnecessary on our modern world, a 2000 years ago on the other hand, it would probably have been useful.

I caught sight of my mate moments later, as we rounded a couple of my well tended bushes. He was pacing agitatedly back and forth, clearly angry and worried about my earlier disappearance. The little one fearfully hid behind me as I approached him, scared by his aggressive body language. "Nescord", I said softly, lowering my tail in submission. He spun around, face contorted in an angry expression. "Where have you been you stupid female!" He barked, waves of anger radiating from him. "I told you to stay here in case we had to go to the hospital! Why did you leave?" I lowered my head as well, trying to appear as humble as possible; it was not much else I could do when he was angry. "Nescord", I repeated. "You are frightening him". That got his attention, and he immediately spotted the nervous bundle of legs and fur who had found sanctuary behind a flowery plant.

He fell silent, eyes glittering in a sudden and almost unexpected burst of happiness. "A son", he whispered. "You have given me a son!" He touched my cheek in an unusual display of tenderness, before he carefully approached the little one. The foal looked at me, afraid and unsure of what to do. He shivered as Nescord edged closer, the baby fur on his back bristling. "Hello there little one", my mate said softly, bending down to touch him. Yet another side of him I had not experienced before I reflected, knowing that if the child had been a female he would not have been this pleased.

I watched with a combination of relief and bitterness as the foal submitted to his touch, and pressed himself up against the older male's side. Nescord stroked his back lovingly, and I could easily tell that the foal felt more secure with him there than he had done with me. He was my child, and yet I knew that it was only a matter of time before he would be taken from me. Like all males he would be spoiled, treated like a little prince, and taught that he was above his mother and sisters, above all females. And Nescord would be happy to teach him, this I knew with certainty. As all andalite marriages ours had been arranged, and I did not by any means love my husband. He was very rich, among the richest on the homeworld actually, and he was quite handsome. He was also quite brutal and not very forgiving.

Our marriage was, as you can probably predict, not a happy one, at least not for me. He was relatively pleased, as long as I obeyed him and did not disturb him when he worked. Apart from when he wished to mate he mostly ignored me, and he held next to no interest in our daughters. During the first year of our time together I had tried to chance him, I really had, but after various beatings and angry words I had done as was expected of me, I had submitted. With a sight I turned around, retreating to our scoop. I was tired, and needed rest and sleep. Nescord was busy getting to know the little one, but I knew he would send word to a doctor as soon as possible. After all he could not risk that something was wrong with his little prince.

The doctor and a couple of nurses arrived about twenty minutes later, and after making sure that my son was healthy they turned to me. As it turned out I was fine, only tired and a little dehydrated. They left after about an hour, after forcing me to join a training program to get back in shape after my pregnancy. I had gained quite a lot of weight, and my legs where swollen and tired after carrying extra weight for almost 11 months. The look Nescord gave me when the doctor had left was not a pleasant one. The way his eyes where turned down at the corners and his ears flat pressed against his head told me that he was displeased. "Will it take much time before you body returns to its previous…..state", he asked me, eying me with distaste. "I do not know Nescord", I tiredly answered, not for the first time fed up with his criticism and obvious displeasure. What did he want me to do? I had carried him three children, of course I did not look like I had once done.

He snorted and twitched his tail in annoyance before he left, the little one eagerly trotting beside him. "Have you given him a name?" I called after him, knowing that he had, he just neglected to involve me. A sour feeling settled in my stomach at this revelation, and judging by his irritation over my question he had not intended to tell me before he saw fit. "His name will be Breeyar", my husband declared, pride noticeable in his tone. "Breeyar Arrangor Anaza". With that the two of them left the scoop to go grassing, and I bitterly watched as my son was taken away from me, already starting to learn that his mother was merely a tool, a plaything.


	2. Smells like teen spirit

**Authors Note: Okay, second chapter is now up. The first few chapters will not be so interesting, while it takes somethime to really get the story going, but please bear with me. Anyway, this story will contain at least some slash, just so that has been made clear. **

**Please, please PLEASE review, and I will forever be grateful:D**

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**Metamorphstorm: THanks a lot for the feedback. I know you are dissapointed, but please give this a try. After all it is "fortunes of war". Only a far better and more thought through version:))**

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**Valleys Of tears **

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**Chapter 2: ****Smells like teen spirit **

**10**** years later: **

**Breeyar's POV: **

"Hey! Stop it", I shouted indignantly as a stone the size of a kafit egg swooped past me, missing by a hair. "Why?" She asked me, still offended. "You know that what I said was true, there is no point in denying it", I said condescendingly, smirking slightly. My oldest sister leveled all four eyes at me in a venomous glare, her tail quivering dangerously. "One day", she sneered. "One day, you will pay for what you have done". With that she left, galloping at full speed away from my family's scoop. I merely shrugged and turned around, trotting swiftly in the opposite direction.

Deep down I felt sort of guilty for what I had done, surely it had not been a kind gesture. However, what she had done was wrong too, and I knew my father would have found out eventually anyway. Verinia had participated in a demonstration before the gates of the military academy, demanding that they allowed females in to their ranks. An outrageous request of course, and I was certain that our government would never allow it. Personally I did not really care either way. What was important for me was getting revenge on Verinia. She had ruined my computer console, and as the annoying younger brother I could not let such an offense go unnoticed. Therefore I had told my father about my sister's escapades, and I was pretty certain that her punishment would not be pleasant.

Our family was one of high standing. We had much land, and my fathers work as a weapons researcher and scientist had made him more or less famous. For his daughter to participate in such a demonstration would be embarrassing for him, and besides it was not like any male would willingly marry her after such a thing. She was rebellious enough as it was, and several suitors had already been scared away. I was slightly amused that my petite, short-tailed sister was able to intimidate grown males in such away, although I had to admit that I was also a little impressed. This last confession was of course something I would never tell her.

I slowed down to an energetic walk, as i neared the land of our neighbor, Prince Galad. He was a very intimidating male, and I felt slightly relieved that he was off world at the moment. Every morning I met my shorm at the outskirts of his land, which we had to cross in order to reach school in time. Of course we could have taken the long rout, but then we would have to run around the Lake of Niangor, which would take twice as much time. So instead we risked our lives every morning, trying to get past him unnoticed. The prince on the other hand seemed to get an immense amount of amusement out of hunting us whenever he was home, a confirmation that our fear was not without reason. We had only been caught once, and quite frankly this was not something we wished to repeat.

"Morning", Milan mumbled sleepily as I approached him. It was the first day of school after the summer vacation, and my shorm was not very enthusiastic. "Nice too see you too", I said sarcastically, waving my stalks playfully at him. He smiled at that, and we quickly made our way over prince Gilad's well tended grassland, headed for school. "I told my father about Verinia", I said offhandedly, receiving a mischievous smirk from my shorm. "Revenge?" He asked. "Yup" I confirmed. "Revenge". He seemed to think it over for a moment, before grinning widely. "You know that female in our class? Nestelia? I think I saw her on the news last night, in the demonstration" I snickered at that, finding it quite hard to believe. Nestelia was silent and submissive to say the least, and I found it difficult to imagine her running about the academy, beating up warriors with her petite little needle of a tailblade. "Perhaps we should confront her?" I asked Milan, and the both of us burst out laughing at the idea.

About five minutes later we entered the school campus, a wide area of grassland that was located in the middle of three crystal buildings. We where headed for the tallest of the three, and I felt excitement fill me as we entered. This building was where the oldest students had their classrooms, and for the next seven years my class would be located here. "You think their' gonna bully us?" Milan asked me, slightly nervous. I shrugged, not very worried at the idea. It was no secret that every year the new class in the senior block was put through hell by the older students. So, Milan did have a reason to be worried. I was of course a little frightened, but while I was an excellent tailfighter I was not too scared. Despite my young age I had fought older males and won before, so I felt pretty confident.

We gathered along with the rest of my class in our assigned classroom, and I quickly found myself a place next to the window, at least then I would have something to look at. Milan stood next to me, and next to him where Umin and Frhoolin, two of our close friends. I crossed my arms and coiled my tail over my back, relaxing my muscles and closing my stalk eyes. School for me was boring. It was not that I was lazy, not exactly. Okay, perhaps I was a little lazy. Anyway, the fact of the matter was that I easily grew bored, and when there was nothing new to learn, I started doing other things. Don't get me wrong, I had excellent grades; school for me was just so extremely boring. Unfortunately we had gotten a new teacher this year, and he was blissfully unaware of my rather unpleasant attitude.

Not that my friends paid much attention either, but then again where was the point? It was not like this new guy was any more interesting than the previous one, and I had yet to discover a subject I genuinely enjoyed. This class, math, was particularly boring, and I found myself drifting further and further into sleep. "Breeyar!" Milan hissed in private thought speak, clearly exited. "Huh?" I blinked a couple of times, worried that the teacher had seen me dozing off. A quick scan of the room told me that he was busy helping another student. "What?" I asked him uncertainly, while I eyed the description of our assignment for the day. After establishing that the computer simulation we where supposed to make was ridiculously easy, I turned my full attention to Milan. He was leaning over Umin's computer console, smirking. "Breeyar, look!" Frhoolin encouraged, equally exited. I leaned forward, and struggled not to laugh.

Umin was truly a mastermind when it came to computers, and had, not for the first time, gotten through the security system of our school, which prevented access to loads of interesting stuff. "Is that a female?" I asked my friend incredulously, staring at the picture with a combination disgust and amusement. My question resulted in a wave of laughter from the three of them. We kept it private of course, but naturally the teacher could tell from our expressions that something was not right. "Is everything okay here?" he asked us suspiciously, his face contorted in something I presumed to be confusion. "Yes Sir, everything is perfectly fine", Milan said innocently, eyes glittering. "Then what is this?" he demanded. Having suddenly snatched away Umin's computer console. He turned it around, gazing at the picture. Now he was definitely confused. With that he gave it back and wandered off, mumbling about youngsters and their strange interests.

School finished early since it was the first day, and I trotted home at a slow pace, gossiping and joking with Milan about our obviously retarded teacher. "You know he was only there because our real teacher only got home today?" Milan said, grinning. "Our real teacher is a prince, or so they say". I snorted, unimpressed. "What? We are getting some snotty military guy? I'd rather have the old hermit, at least he does not report to the headmaster when we are doing other things". Milan waved his stalks in agreement. "We have to find a way to trick him. There is no way in yaolin that i am going to endure another year of school actually paying attention", he said, and then he burst out laughing, having realized just how childish his outburst had been. "See you tomorrow", he called, and we ran off in different directions, headed for home.

The sight that met me when I returned home was not too pleasant. My mother was tending to the illisparot plants outside our scoop, crying as she went, while my father was lecturing Verinia. My other sister, Kliana, was standing nearby, watching the scene with obvious despair. Then she spotted me, and approached silently. She was angry with me, this I could easily tell. "You idiot!" She exclaimed. "Why in a black sun did you tell him?" I sent her haughty look, twitching my tail dangerously. "He has the right to know", I replied in my best condescending little-brother voice. "He is going to marry her off to some war prince because of what happened", she hissed, glaring daggers at me. "Because of what you told him she will lose her freedom". I irritably edged away from her, headed for the scoop. Kliana was never pleasant to talk to, especially not when she was angry. Sister or no sister, I did not like her very much. "Don't you care?" She called after me. "Don't you even care for your own sister?" She bellowed, an accusing edge to her voice. "Will you just shut up", I shoot back, resisting the urge to go back and punch her.

"Breeyar" My father greeted me moments later, having left my unpleasant sisters outside with my mother. "How was your day?" He asked, smiling at me. I shrugged, truly realizing that there was now eleven months to the next vacation. "Not too bad", I answered, trying but failing miserably at being positive. He smirked at that, clearly understanding my true feelings on the subject. "Anyway, Verinia's future husband is due to drop by in about an hour, and I would like the whole family to be present" So Kliana had spoken the truth for once, interesting. "Of course", I dutifully answered, eager to please him. Despite me being his favorite, I always longed for praise and acknowledgement from him. This was something he rarely gave, and thus a sought after gift, at least for me. My sisters hated him, and he them. And my mother was merely an observer, never taking sides. She would occasionally cry if my father had treated someone unfair, but she never stood up to him.

I did not consider my father to be particularly brutal or unfair. He merely treated females the way everyone else treated them, the way I had also been taught to treat them. They where inferior, and thus they should know their place. Occasionally I did wonder if it was right, if females really should be considered inferior creatures. Then again I was not stupid enough to voice my concerns to any one, but I still wondered. With a sight I shook my head, trying to get rid of questions I knew I should not have. The familiar sound of a military issue fighter had caught my attention, and I went outside as a gleaming silvery tinted fighter landed outside our scoop. It was the latest model, a 32, and I felt excitement fill me when I noticed that it was armed with shredders.

A hatch opened in the side of the craft, and a handsome full grown male stepped out, followed by his parents. A war prince, and a high ranking one too, judging by his fighter. I was barely able to contain my excitement over the ship as he greeted us, and briefly considered asking him about it. A warning glance from my father stopped me, and I crossed my arms, trying to appear uninterested. "Verinia Mahen Shimtal, meet Imatrin Opal Esth", my father said, Introducing the future husband and wife in the traditional way. Imatrin waved his stalks at my sister, and smiled pleasantly at her. Verinia on the other hand, regarded him with a cold stare, and I nervously watched my father's ears shiver with rage. Imatrin did not seem to be bothered, and after introducing his parents, he turned his attention to me.

He looked me over a couple of times, and I felt uneasiness fill me. I was not used to older males checking me out, and I was smart enough to sense that this was exactly what he was doing. I had always been considered to be unusually handsome, but I was very young, at least for males of Imatrin's age. "You must be Breeyar", he said, smiling at me. "Yes", I answered watching him shyly. "It is a nice fighter you have got", I hesitantly said, afraid of annoying him. He laughed at that, eyes gleaming. "I guess it is", he said casually, sending me yet another smile. "You care for a look?" He then asked, and I could not believe my own luck. He was offering to show me the inside of a brand new 32? There was no way I could say no to this!


	3. Strange encounters

**Authors note: Okay, now things are starting to get a little more interesting. For those of you who read FW you will be introduced to a familiar charcter. Say no more, enjoy:D**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!**

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**Valleys of tears**

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**Chapter 3: ****Strange encounters **

"Wow….it is even got those new thrusters", I exclaimed, having fallen completely in love with the 32. Imatrin smirked at me, clearly pleased with something. Had I been a little older, and not so caught up in the craft, I would probably have been alarmed. As it was I was too preoccupied to notice the glances he kept stealing at me, nor did it occur to me what being locked inside a ship with him could lead to. Our parents had gone to the lake along with my sisters, which meant that we where left to fend for ourselves. I was pleased. The absence of my parents meant that I could explore the ship without being rude to the guests. Imatrin did not seem to bother at all, instead he explained the engineering of the craft, and answered my seemingly endless stream of questions.

"How old are you Breeyar?" The older male asked me after a while, intently watching. "10 cycles", I replied absentmindedly, admiring the interior of the ship. The floor was covered with luscious carpet of soft blue grass, and their was even a little waterfall in the corner. I was immensely impressed with the whole craft. And of course more or less in heaven over the fact that was actually inside one. Only a couple of weeks ago me and Milan had admired the very same craft, having gone to spy on the ship building docks. It was truly mesmerizing. "You are very built to be so young", Imatrin suddenly said, startling me somewhat. And with that I was brutally drawn away from fighter pilot heaven, and back to reality. After an awkward silence I slowly turned around, meeting his gaze. It suddenly occurred to me that I was trapped between him and the bulkhead of the fighter.

"You are marrying my sister", I said sheepishly, unsure on how to react. He laughed, green eyes glimmering with amusement. "Are you trying to dismiss me Breeyar?" He asked, leaning in close, so that our faces where only centimeters apart. What in yaolin should I say to him? I had absolutely no intentions of being intimate with him, but then again I did not wish to ruin the engagement. Surely my father would be furious then. In the end I decided on compromising. "Perhaps when I am older, we can address this issue again", I said, nervously twitching my tail. He smiled one of those unnerving smiles of his, before he retreated, allowing me to exit the fighter. "Shall we say 16 then?" He asked, tilting his head teasingly to the side. "I bet you will be quite a challenge then. Probably worth the wait too". I shrugged, unsure on how in the world I was going to respond to his remark.

Luckily we where interrupted before I had the time to answer him. Never before had I been so happy to see Kliana. She approached in a swift trot, an unmistakable air of superiority radiating from her. Imatrin smiled at her, a mask of polite assertiveness had once again settled over his countenance. Kliana on the other hand seemed to see right through him. "Do not even think about playing that game with me you creep!" She sneered, pausing only to send him an icy glare. "I know how you truly are". With that she stalked off, headed for the entrance of our scoop. Imatrin glanced snidely at me, seemingly intrigued by something. "Perhaps I have chosen the wrong sister. I have always liked the rebellious ones". I turned my head around, to watch him with my main eyes. "Not to worry", I said awkwardly. "They are both equally unpleasant" Moments later my parents appeared, walking next to Imatrin's parents and my sister. With the exception of Verinia they all seemed relatively pleased, and I felt relief flow through me. Perhaps everything had turned out okay then.

Imatrin and his parents left about five minutes later, and I stalked off before Kliana got a hold of me. She seemed to sense that something had happened between me and Imatrin, and I did not think I could survive another embarrassing encounter, especially not with her. Instead I swiftly made my way over our well tended grassland, not really caring where I was going. I just ran, enjoying the feeling of the strong breeze that played with my fur, and the long grass that whipped my heaving sides, urging me forward. When I finally slowed down I had reached the river which marked the end of our land on the northern side. I had never been this far north before, while this part of our home was so desolately located. Actually I failed to understand how someone could stand living up here so far away from civilization.

I skidded into a halt on the riverbank and stuck my hoof in, satisfying the thirst. To my surprise I could clearly see hoof prints in the dense sand along the other side of the river. A second inspection revealed that the grassland on the other side seemed well tended as well. So, clearly there was someone living up here. I hesitated, unsure of what to do. It was starting to darken, and it would take me at least three hours to get back home. Then again I had suddenly become struck with an immense curiosity at who our neighbor was. It was something intriguing about someone living up here alone. I considered for a moment, before abruptly deciding. With an elegant leap I landed in the midst of the river, and trotted through it, tail held high.

I felt oddly self-conscious as I nervously inspected this strangers land. A ball of dread, angst and curiosity had settled in my stomach, along with the unmistakable feeling of excitement over doing something you where not supposed to do. Had my father seen me now he would undoubtedly have been outraged. Sneaking around on other folks land as some criminal, definitely not what he had intended for my future. Then again I had to admit that breaking the laws of society gave immense satisfaction. I bucked playfully and broke into a gallop, pleased with my own rebelliousness. The grass tasted decently, and the forest along the riverbank gave the place an almost mystic aura. I stopped in the shadow of a great Noola tree, gazing at the setting suns with wonder and admiration. Great beams of golden and pinkish light crisscrossed the sky, as three of the four suns disappeared behind the mountains referred to as the three sisters. Then the last sun followed, slowly melting away in a crescendo of wonderful colors.

The sudden sensation of a cool tailblade pressing against my neck almost made me jump. I was caught completely off guard, and before I was able to see the attacker he had taken a hold of my eye stalks, bending them away. Moments later a strong wrapped itself around my torso, making me completely immobile. My first thought was to try and kick whoever was holding me, but I quickly dismissed the idea. One move from me and his tale would slice through my neck. I valued my life more than that. Instead I inhaled deeply and forced my body to relax, not moving a muscle. Then the attacker surprised me by suddenly letting go, and threw myself around to face him, tail flashing. A soft shiver ran through my body as we locked eyes, and I lowered my tail in shock. He was Anaza, just like me, finally I had found someone like myself out there.

The beauty and skills I had inherited from my ancestors was something which had bothered me my entire life. Being handsome was of course exiting and arousing, but the fact that my beauty set me a part from everyone else bothered me. There was no other andalites with black Anaza stripes and golden eyes out there, and hadn't been for over 2000 years. At least that was what everyone believed. Yet here I was, my golden orbs clashing with his silvery ones. His fur was a darker shade than mine, but he also had the stripes, only in a somewhat different pattern. "Well, well Young Breeyar, not a proper way to greet strangers no? Wandering about their land without permission?" The other Anaza said, his silvery eyes glinting in the fading light. I blushed profoundly; glad that the black stripes on my cheeks hid my embarrassment.

"I..I..I am so sorry", I rambled, realizing that breaking the laws of society did have consequences. What if he reported me or something? My father would be furious, and I would bring shame to my family. "I did not mean to offend you, I was just….", I stopped, unsure of what to say. He tilted his head to the side at my sudden silence, and smiled ever so slightly. "Curious?" He supplied, lowering his tail and relaxing. I waved my stalks in confirmation, and reverted my gaze to the ground, still feeling stupid. There was so much I wanted to ask him, so much I longed to know, about myself, my ancestors, about the Anaza. He was older and more experienced than me, surely he would know something. But after my escapades I doubted he would be willing to talk to me.

Despite my nervousness I decided to speak up. After all I had already ruined any first impression, and it was not like it made any difference if I embarrassed myself once more. "You are an Anaza too, like me", I stated, watching him with a combination of longing and fear. He folded his arms neatly over his chest, and gazed intently at me. "Yes", he then said. "I am an Anaza". He slowly edged closer to me and lifted a hand to touch my face, carefully trailing his fingers along the stripes on my left cheek. "How did you know my name?" I asked him, the silence making me nervous. "I have been watching you, keeping an eye on you, for a very long time Breeyar. Since the day you where born actually", came the calm replay, startling me somewhat. "I never thought I would meet another Anaza in my life time. When you where born I could not risk that something should happen to you". He lowered his hand from my face, and we locked gazes again. "Yes", he said softly. "I will teach you".

I trembled slightly as I realized that he could read my thoughts, at least some of them. He seemed to know exactly what I wanted to know, and I had not asked him. What other explanation could there be? Several probably, but none that came to mind at that exact moment. A warm smile glinted in his steel like eyes, and he touched my face again, more intimate this time, like my father would sometimes do. "Go home young one, before your parents starts to worry. I will see you tomorrow when your school is finished", he said seriously, smiling when I flinched at the nickname. With that he slowly turned around, disappearing in the darkness of the night. "Wait, what is your name?" I called after him, slightly disturbed that he had not introduced himself properly. "Meradean", came the silent answer, and then he was gone, consumed by the looming shadows of the trees.

It took me quite some time to run home, and when I arrived I was more or less exhausted. My two sisters were gossiping just outside the scoop, no surprises there, and I could hear my parents inside. Both Kliana and Verinia looked up as they caught sight of me, exchanging a look I knew all too well. It was bullying little brother time. "So", Kliana initiated as she approached me. "You had a nice time with war prince Imatrin", she stated, a cruel glint visible in her green eyes. So that was what this was all about. Curse her, she always picked up on things she shouldn't. "He showed me his fighter", I replied neutrally, as they exchanged another look. In yaolin! Why did they have to be so difficult? Why could they not just say what they wanted to say and leave? Trust females to act strangely, my sisters in particular.

"Oh really", Verinia said, pawing the ground with her front leg in a gesture of utter superiority. "I think he did a little more", she exclaimed loudly, making sure to broadcast her thought speak so my parents could hear. At that moment I seriously considered giving her a lesson with my tail. There was no doubt that I would easily crush both of them, but then again such an action would only lead to trouble, especially for me. "Nothing happened", I said irritably. "He showed me his fighter, that is all". Kliana snorted at that, but before she came up with a witty retort I turned around and headed to my private part of the scoop. With a tired sight I curled up too sleep, tired and intrigued by the happenings of this somewhat unusual day. So much had happened, and I could not help but wonder what tomorrow would bring.


	4. The Navvarra Meren

**Authors note: Hope you will like the chapter, it is focusing on Breeyar's relationship with Meradean, and the Anaza. Next chapter will jump forward in time btw.**

**I beg you, whoever reads this, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!**

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**Valleys of tears**

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**Chapter 4:**** The Navvarra Meren**

A veil of rain had consumed the landscape, making it difficult to see where I went as I ran. I paid it no attention, too exited to care. The encounter with the other Anaza the day before had made me exited and anxious. He had promised, or rather he had said, that he would teach me. This was my chance to learn about my heritage, to understand who and what I was. It was a chance to unique to pass down, too important for my persona. My broodings where momentarily disturbed when bouldering thunder could be heard at a distance, and I stopped, admiring purple and pinkish lighting flashing over the sky above. I knew deep down that it was not really smart to be standing in the middle of a meadow in such weather, yet there was something appealing about standing in the middle of untamed chaos.

My obsession with the storm delayed my arrival at Meradean's land considerably. As it was I spent almost 30 minutes in the midst of that field, gazing with wonder at the dangerous yet beautiful lightshow on the sky. When I finally I arrived by the river that marked the end of our land and the beginning of Meradean's, I was soaked to the boon, and having realized my own mistake I feared his wrath upon my late arrival. And I was also starting to realize that other than wandering about his land, I had no idea how to find him. With an annoyed sight at my own tardiness I waded through the river, and found sanctuary from the rain underneath one of the great trees. Some drops still fell through the leaves, but it was a vast improvement anyway. I stood there for a while, watching waves of rain wash over the landscape, carried by the wind.

For a brief moment I closed my eyes, intently listening to the enraged elements, and the caress of cold wind ruffling my fur. "You do know what your name means?" I thought speak voice suddenly inquired, making me jump in surprise. Moments later the familiar shape of Meradean materialized to my left. It surprised me that I had not seen him. Normally I had unusually keen senses, an Anaza trait I suppose, and it was very uncustomary and slightly disturbing that he was able to sneak up on me. He edged closer, and came to stand next to me. "What does it mean?" I asked, relieved that I had found him, or rather, that he had found me. His features contorted in a mysterious smile, and he closed his eyes, listening to the pouring rain. "It means that you are a son of the wind", he finally said, his smile widening. I gazed questionably at him, not understand his obvious amusement. "A bit of a cliché perhaps, although it suits you", he continued, the amusement disappearing.

We stood in silence for a while, before he slowly turned around, leaving the sanctuary of the trees. I hesitantly followed, breaking into a trot to catch up with him. To my surprise he started galloping, and soon I was running flat out not to loose him. The wind thundered in my ears, and I ran faster, suddenly catching up. Without warning he threw himself around, his tail shooting forward like a bull whip. I reacted immediately, sliding down on my haunches to meet the blow. The force of the impact sent me reeling, but I refused to back down. His silvery orbs clashed with my golden ones, never leaving each other as we spun gracefully left and right, dancing along with the wind and the lighting. He jumped up, all four legs leaving the ground in an impressive show of grace and agility, before he came crashing down again, aiming for my torso. I reared up on my hind legs and I almost fell of my hooves when we thundered into each other. A cloud of sparks erupted as I slammed my blade into his, struggling to get the advantage.

It soon became apparent that he was merely toying with me, assessing my skill. I never got any hits on him, although I did get my fair share of cuts and bruises. He was not gentle either. If I was not able to avoid his tail, It was, in his opinion, only fair that I learned my lesson. We fought as we ran, racing through small gatherings of trees and vast grassland. Finally we reached the river, and I leaped into it, desperately looking for a way to defeat him. Water was all around us, and it required more strength to move efficiently. I could feel how my legs tired and became sloppy, which only caused him to bruise me more often. I sensed that he gradually became more aggressive, attacking faster and more brutally, locking on to my weaknesses like a laser targeted shredder.

Despite his obvious superiority I refused to give up, but in the end he got me, and I was slammed into the wet grass, his cool blade pressed firmly against my throat. For a brief moment I agitatedly kicked my hooves, attempting to escape him. He smiled ever so slightly at my antics, but I was not allowed to get up before I had calmed down and stopped moving. I scurried to my hooves, subconsciously realizing that our positions now had been decided. He had won, and thus I was to submit to his rule. A primitive and crude way of deeming who was dominant perhaps, although it gave security. Now at least I knew how to behave towards him, I knew what to expect. We watched each other for a brief moment, before he started moving, silently gesturing for me to follow. I complied, keeping behind him to show that I accepted the outcome of our battle.

"You enjoy tailfighting?" He asked me after a while, slowing down to indicate that I could walk beside him. I quickened my pace a little, before waving my stalks in confirmation. "I wish to become a professional", I said, regretting my words in that same instant. He had beaten me so easily, played with me the entire time. How was I supposed to become that good? He seemed to sense my sudden depression, and stopped, gently stroking my cheek. "You are very talented young one. There is no reason to despair, when you are fully grown you will surpass me", he said quietly. I did not entirely believe him, but what surprised me the most was that it did not even bother him suggesting it.

I had always been very competitive, and settling for second had never even been on my mind. Then again I had to admit that my pride, despite his words, had been wounded, and I had also gotten a valuable lesson. I was skilled yes, but I was by no means the best. I shock my head a little, pleased yet embarrassed at his praise. "What, what other things can you teach me? Apart from fighting I mean? I asked after a while, feeling a little awkward in his presence. He tilted his head to the side, as if contemplating me. "I will teach you everything you need to know in order to become an Anaza warrior, the best warrior there will ever be", he finally said. "Our culture, unusual talents, our history. In due time you will know everything". I inhaled sharply at his words, excitement flowing through me. For the first time in my life I felt whole, the small piece of me that had always felt unsure and out of place was now gone. I was not alone anymore.

We strolled casually along the river for a while, and despite our silence I sensed that he enjoyed my presence. Perhaps he had felt alone too, missing someone of his own kind. I certainly knew I had, but then again he was older, more experienced, and probably did not have the same desires as I had. "What happened to the Anaza", I curiously asked him, the question having lingered in my hearts for quite some time. "That is a long story", he replied, a note of sadness in his voice. With that he broke into a swift canter, expecting me to follow. "Where are we going?", I called after him, curious and slightly disturbed by his sudden departure. "To a place where I can explain better", he said, while I struggled to catch up, the wind battling my advance. We ran for about thirty minutes, the last fifteen spent climbing up a rocky hillside, before sliding down on the other side, headed for the valley below.

It was the most beautiful place I had ever seen, and a soft shiver ran through my body at the sight. The ground was covered in pale, blue grass. Occasionally there where small patches of black sand, where trees in the same colors grew tall and strong. A bright blue lake was located in the middle of the valley, surrounded by a black beach. The wind and rain gave the place an almost aerie look, although I was surprised to discover that little wind reached the centre of the valley. It was a strange place, and I realized that did not understand it. There was a silence her, a silence which I did not completely understand. It made me slightly anxious, the now less powerful wind softly gushing over me.

The fur on my back bristled, although I knew there where no one apart from me and Meradean present. I heard voices, faint thought speak voices, or so I believed. There are no one here I reminded myself, afraid of being superstitious. Yet I found myself unable to let it go, and the whispering continued. "What is this place?" I asked Meradean, fear seeping into my tone. He stopped, and gently touched my shoulder to offer comfort. "There is no need to be afraid young one. What you are hearing is merely whispers of the past", he said calmly, not relieving my fear much. Whispers of the past, there was something about the phrase that made me uneasy. Deep down I understood, to some degree, that this place was special, that something terrible had happened here. Yet I also sensed that this place was a sanctuary, quiet and peaceful, a nice place to clear your thoughts.

"This is the _Navvarra Meren_, the valley of tears", Meradean said, finally answering my question, at least partly. I silently watched him, eagerly awaiting the continuation. And thus he told me a tale I would never forget, a tale I would bear with me for the rest of my life. The tale of my heritage. "The Anaza where, as you probably know, the most powerful herd in the ancient time", he began, pausing to gaze at the glimmering lake. "They where stronger, faster, more intelligent and more beautiful than any other herd. They where superior in all aspects". He smiled sadly at me before he continued, and I instantly knew that this tale would not end well. "Their beauty was indescribable, desirable. But it came with a great risk. The Anaza where hunted, captured to serve as pets or as sex slaves. Yet they where a herd of warriors, and instead of submitting they fought. In the end they did of course lose. Outnumbered and hunted the last few came here to end their lives. This is a burial ground young Breeyar, but it is also a place for contemplation".

"If they all came here….to...to die, then how is it that I was born…like this?" I asked him, somewhat afraid of the answer. He met my gaze, the hint of a smile visible in his eyes. "Only the males inherited the beauty and the skills, and thus they where the ones that where hunted. Although most of the females chose to die along side them, some survived. Occasionally there will be born andalites like us, but only when a female with these genes mate with a male with the right qualities". The both of us fell silent after this, and as we made our way home, a lonely tear traveled down my cheek. No one had been able to determine why or how the Anaza disappeared, but as I gazed down at the valley I knew. And more than anything else I wished to honor their memory. To deserve my heritage.


	5. A gift or a curse?

**Authors note: 5th chapter up, it is starting to shape up a little more, hope you will enjoy this:D**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!**

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**Valleys of tears**

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**Chapter 5:**** A gift or a curse?**

From the moment I was born I had known, to some degree, that I was different. Our neighbors had looked at me with awe, other foals where afraid of me, and adults respected me, despite my young age. This had not really bothered while I had been too young to venture outside of our community. Everyone here knew me, and although I received my amount of admiring looks, that was about it. When I turned 15 on the other hand, this changed.

I had grown considerably, and Meradean's training had given me a tall, sleek, muscular and athletic body. Along with my refined Anaza features and glossy fur I had become quite the sight. Unaware that not rest of our population was used to seeing an Anaza male, I had agreed to go with Milan, Umin and Frhoolin to what we andalites refer to as a deral, an andalite mall I believe you could call it. We where now considered old enough to go outside our community, and thus decided to go and look for females at the deral. Typical male behaviour as my sisters would have said. We where exited, and galloped the whole way to the space port, boarding a public craft. "I can't wait", Milan grinned excitedly, nudging my shoulder. I smirked in return, already looking forward to flirting with females outside our community. There was something very exiting about the thought, and my friends seemed to share my eagerness.

We disembarked after about an hour, and scurried down the ramp, entering the chaos of a deral filled with shopping crazy andalites. The first thing I noticed was the stares. The moment my hooves touched the ground stalks turned, and the unmistakable movements that indicated private whispering where visible all around us. I felt slightly uncomfortable, but ignored it as we made our way around the deral, chatting as we went. "Ohh…..look at her", Umin said approvingly, and we all swirled our stalks to see. "She is pretty", I admitted, liking her turquoise fur and soft blue eyes. She caught us staring and hurried away, a distinct shade of purple rising on her cheeks. Milan grinned widely at that, smirking at us. "See, it is just like I said, one just have show interest and then they blush". I snorted in a combination of amusement and, deep down, embarrassment. Meradean had said something about young hormonal males scaring away females the day before, and I wondered if that was just what had happened.

We strolled about for a while, and I got increasingly uncomfortable as more and more people started arriving, and I suspected it might be because they had heard that there was an Anaza in the deral. Milan and the other two seemed to sense my discomfort, and we decided too leave without females. Unfortunately we where a little too late, and before anyone had the time to react a group of four males and three females, all a couple of years older, approached us, curiosity evident on their features. They stopped quite close, at what Meradean would probably have referred to as an inappropriate distance. One of the older females dared to go even closer, staring right up into my eyes. "Is it true that you are an Anaza? Or are those stripes merely fake?" She asked me, and I cringed at her rude and demanding tone. "That is none of your concern, but yes, I am an Anaza", I answered, more than a little uncomfortable. By then a huge crowd had gathered around us, and I resisted the urge to just run down all of them.

Then one of the males stepped forward, gazing at me like I was some sort of possession. "You are very handsome", he said, and then he did the unthinkable. He reached out to touch my face. I reacted in a combination of training, instinct and rage. To touch someone's face was a gesture between lovers or family, and definitely not a stranger. My tail moved lightening fast, and before he had the time to blink he was lying in a pathetic heap on the floor, bloody and bruised. "Serves you right!" Frhoolin snapped at him, kicking his side with a sharp hoof. And that was when everything went astray. The comrades of the rude male attacked in a blur, and in a matter of seconds there where total chaos. Luckily the four of us had been in countless of fights at school, to defend our positions as the top bullies, so we did have some experience, although this was far more challenging. I had trained under Meradean for the last five years, and I was by far superior to my opponents, but unfortunately the incident had turned into a full scale battle, me Milan, Umin and Frhoolin versus everyone else.

I spun gracefully left and right, my tail working as an invisible barrier between me and everyone else. Needless to say I kept them at bay, that was until someone decided to interfere. "WHAT IN YAOLIN IS GOING ON HER?", a furious thought speak voice demanded. I froze momentarily as the crowd of civilians where rudely pushed out of the way and a group of four very big, muscular and intimidating males approached us. I could easily tell that they where warriors, by their slightly looping gates, and the unmistakable air of arrogance. There was something about the way they carried themselves that spoke volumes, and I resisted the urge to cover behind something. Instead I stood tall and poised, my tail held high. "What is going on her?", the warrior demanded once more, until his eyes fell on me that is.

The four of them fell silent, gazing at me with a combination of surprise, approval and curiosity. It made me uncomfortable, and the others lined up beside me, offering at least a small amount of comfort. I was not alone. The warriors exchanged a couple of meaningful glances, before he leveled three of his four eyes at me. "You will come with me", he calmly stated, although I detected no room for negotiation. The four of us followed sullenly behind him, flanked by two of the other warriors. The third stayed, undoubtedly to clean up the mess. "Are we in trouble?" Umin asked the warrior that seemed to be in charge. "We will see", he answered humorously. "I am taking you to my prince, he will he the one to decide". We exchanged a set of worried glances. This could not possibly be good.

All the deral on our world are guarded by warriors that for some reason are not off world. It was a duty that as far as I knew few warriors liked, but it was required nonetheless. No doubt their prince was probably fed up with it, and would most likely be in a bad mood to start with. We where taken to an office in a small crystal building, the entrance lined with nicely sculpted trees. "Enter", a court voice demanded as one of the warrior pressed his hand against a computer interface outside. Milan and the others where asked to wait outside as I was escorted in, trying to appear brave and unmoved. I skidded into halt right in front of what I presumed to be the prince, and we locked gazes. He was tall and powerfully built, about the same age as my father, and I could only hope he was not as strict. "I have seen the security tapes", he said, eyes wandering over my form with no shame at all. I flushed angrily, but kept silent. What else where I to do?

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When I arrived home later that day I sought refugee in my part of the scoop, curling up to sleep hours before I normally did. I felt, I don't know, I felt crushed. The prince had not said much to me, merely arranged a transport for us to get home, and I had disembarked at Milan's, so my parents would not hear about the incident. For a while I tried to sleep, before I finally snuck out as twilight settled over the land. My parents where sound asleep, and I did not have to worry about Kliana while she had been married off the year before. Silently I ran through the night, knowing that he would be up, waiting for me. It gave some security, having him there, and in many ways I was closer to him than I was to my father. He was like me, and he understood me in a way no one else did.

I spotted him the moment I crossed the river, and silently approached him, struggling to keep my composure. In the end I gave up and collapsed against his chest, sobbing without really understanding why. Meradean on the other hand seemed to understand exactly what was bothering me, although I had not told him. "Hush", he comforted, gently ruffling my ears. "What happened was not your fault", he quietly said, gently wiping my tears away with the back of his hand. I pulled away from him, embarrassed at my own behavior. He smiled slightly at that, before crossing his arms. I looked down on the ground, feeling more awkward than ever. Why could I not jus be like everyone else? I had just wanted to enjoy myself at the deral, I had not done anything! Yet I was assaulted in the rudest of ways, stared at, insulted and generally not treated with much respect.

"You have a gift Breeyar, a gift that does not come without costs", Meradean said, the smile gone from his eyes. "You have to stand up for yourself, prove that it is unwise to provoke you. They will not learn top treat you otherwise unless you do". I pawed the ground agitatedly with my front legs, not feeling much better at his words. Why were my looks so important? I failed to understand how one could judge someone purely on their looks, and thus act accordingly. But most of all I wondered why they did not respect me. What I had done to receive such dishonorable treatment? "They do respect you, more than you know", Meradean said gently. "They are just blinded by your beauty, while this is something they have never experienced before". I waved my stalks in uncertainty, unsure of what exactly to feel. Never before had I felt so humiliated like today, and despite Meradean's words I could not help but wonder if other andalites would ever be able to look past my looks, and respect me for who I was.

We strolled casually next to each other along the riverbank, enjoying the silence of the night. I had school the next day, and should probably have gone home to sleep, yet I wanted to remain with Meradean. "You should depart young one", he quietly said, glancing briefly at me. I hesitated, unsure if I should comply or not. To be honest I did not wish to go home. Despite the love I held for my parent I knew they would never understand, not the way Meradean did. I could not tell them what had happened either. My father would have been outraged and thus used his influence to ruin the lives of those who had attacked. Despite my somewhat, yes I admit, ruthless nature, I did not want that. No one deserved such a thing, or perhaps the yeerks, but definitely not any andalite. "Can I sleep here tonight?" I asked Meradean, gazing pleadingly at him. "You could wake me early, so that I will get back before my parents notice", I quickly added, trying to rid him of any arguments. He seemed to think it over for a moment, before deciding. "Yes, you may sleep her", he finally answered, and I felt waves of relief flow through me.

I curled up in his scoop, a couple of meters away from where he slept. The bedding was soft and comfortable, and his presence calmed me somewhat, made it easier to relax. Despite my better judgment I edged closer to him, and ended up leaning my back against his chest. It was a strange and completely new sensation for me, but not uncomfortable. I had never been interested in males sexually; there was just something that felt safe about being close to someone, to be taken care off. Then again such relationships between males are common in our society, so I did not really care how it might be perceived. Perhaps I longed to be a foal again, to be blissfully ignorant at how complicated this world was. With a sight I closed all four eyes, gently sliding into a deep sleep.


	6. Where eagles dare

**Authors note: Okay chapter 6 is up:) I hope you like this, and I assure you, the next chapter Meradean will be back. Chapter 7 will also be M rated, and it will most likelt jump forward in time:D Btw: Aliana is introduced here because she will have an important role to play in part 2 and three of this story. **

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!! I am kind of frustrated that this does not get any reviews, especially while this traffic thing on my profile indicates that quite a lot of people are reading this story. I post more often you know, if you bother to give a review. **

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**Valley's of tears**

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**Chapter 6:**** Where eagles dare **

"Breeyar?" Milan asked me, uncertainty written all over his features. "Yes Milan?" I answered, already knowing what he was going to ask, and furthermore dreading the question. "Are you okay?" He asked, fully aware that the two of us where not very good at such talks. "I don't know, are you?" I asked in return, smiling sheepishly. He snorted and waved his stalks at me and with that we went off too school. To be honest I was not okay. After the incident at the deral I had been bothered with thoughts of frustration and uncertainty. It did of course help to discuss the issue with Meradean, but I still found myself unable to let it go completely. I had not been more than about thirty kilometers outside our community, and people had gone completely crazy. What would I do when I got older, when I went off to university, or perhaps to the academy? How could I survive in such a place, when a simple visit to a deral turned into a disaster? To be honest I would rather not think about it, my current future seemed too depressing.

We made our way to school in our usual and overly relaxed manner, and entered the classroom about two seconds before the teacher. At least we where not too late. With a tired sight I found my spot between Milan and Umin, and prepared to sleep through another lesson. School was far too easy, and far too boring, and thus I rarely paid attention. This day however, turned out to be an exception; I was even momentarily distracted from my previous depression. She entered after the teacher, and nervously followed him to the front of the classroom. I barely registered that the teacher introduced her as Aliana Meren Gerin, and informed us that she was new and would join our class. Never before had I been so attracted to a female, never!

Her fur was tinted an attractive light purple with hints of pale blue, and she had vivid green eyes. I found myself unable to tear my gaze away from her, reveling in her beautiful, curvy body. Her fur seemed soft, and I could not help but wonder how it would feel to touch her, to slide my hands down her back, to her hindquarters, and then……."Breeyar?? Breeyar!" Milan gripped my shoulder agitatedly, and I realized that the teacher had just informed us of today's assignment. "What? What did he say?" I inquired, wondering how I had been able to ignore his thought speak in the first place. "We are going to sketch each other", Milan replied, amusement evident in his tone. I shrugged, not seeing what was so funny. Besides I was still preoccupied with the new female. While we had art class the entire day I could spend my time staring, which for me was perfect.

The teacher's words ruined my daydreaming moments later, as he started to explain the assignment more thoroughly. "Okay, you my choose if you wish to sketch a male or a female, and when you are finished sketching you will create a three-dimensional, realistic looking statue which resembles your sketch. Breeyar and Onelia, you will be models." He said, meeting my gaze. There was load cheering at his words, and I slapped Umin upside the head with my tail blade. Then chaos ensured as people scurried around, finding equipment and working tables. This was not the first time I had been asked to act as the model in our art class, but this did not make it any more appealing. People tended to stare enough as it was, but now they could stare as much as they wanted too, which I more or less hated. For a brief moment I considered sneaking away, but then the teacher spotted me, and I was unwillingly dragged to the front of the class room.

I was told to stand with my profile facing the class, arms crossed, and tail coiled loosely over my back. It was not an uncomfortable way to stand, what bothered me was that the majority of the class had chosen to draw me rather than Onelia, and all the looks made me feel more or less paranoid. The females in particular made me rather embarrassed, while they discussed my physique amongst themselves, pointing and gesturing as they went. My male comrades where laughing and playing around, making all kinds of inappropriate sketches of me and Onelia, together, but at lest this was expected. Eventually the drawings where discovered and then confiscated by the teacher, and after another round of heated discussion most people where finished sketching, and finally I could return to my working table.

With an annoyed glance at Milan's art piece, the only one that had not been confiscated, I picked up my stuff, and looked around for someone to draw. The teacher had not said that I would have to draw Onelia, and thus a brilliant idea struck me. With renewed enthusiasm I grinned snidely at Milan, and gracefully made my way to the other side of the classroom, headed for the new female. I stopped politely a couple of meters away from her, resisting the urge to shiver as I inhaled her scent. "Hi, I am Breeyar Arrangor Anaza", I introduced myself, giving her my best smile. "Aliana Meren Gerin", she replied, blushing slightly over my unexpected approach. "May I draw you?" I asked, gesturing at the equipment in my hands. "Of course", she answered, smiling warmly at me. The smile lit up her whole face, and I struggled to keep my composure. She was stunning, and I could feel how my entire being tensed at the thought of being near her.

"So, you just moved here?" I inquired as I started sketching at the table opposite hers, my stalks wandering over her feminine shape. She was relatively small, but surprisingly muscled being a female, and I found her somewhat unusual body type very flattering. "Yes, my family owns land both here and along the cost, and while we needed a change of scene we moved", she said, slightly uncomfortable at the question. I briefly wondered if perhaps there was another reason for her moving here, but decided not to ask, I did not wish to dig into her past if she would not tell. She intrigued me in a way I had never before experienced. It struck me that I wanted more than her body, there was something unusual about her, something the other females did not possess. I could not quite identify this special quality; I just sensed that there was something there.

We worked in silence until the lesson was over, and when lunch was due I had already started sculpting. Although I had never been very interested in art, I was pretty confident that it would be the best art piece I had ever done. Probably because I found the model so attracting, but who could blame me? I left her with a polite wave of my stalks, joining my friends and then heading outside. We strolled casually around the school campus, grassing and gossiping in our usual manner. "So, you have a good eye for the new female", Umin stated, smirking snidely. "She is beautiful", I supplied, not bothering to return the look. Milan nudged my shoulder teasingly, and rolled his eyes in a very suggesting way. "You know Breeyar, that she seems like one of the hard ones", he said. "Yea", Frhoolin joined in. "You can have every female you want, why not go for one that will give you the good stuff at once?" I sent him a haughty glance, deciding to play the part. "While you may prefer the more…..scruffy looking females, I am going for the real ladies" I said.

It had the desired effect, and a noisy discussion about who had the best taste immediately captured their interest. I was about to join the argument when I was distracted by Onelia's unmistakably offensive thought speak. I swirled my stalks around to look, and immediately spotted Onelia and her little mob of females surrounding Aliana. Onelia was considered the prettiest female in our class, and it was clear that she did not like competition. I had to admit that she indeed was very attractive, but then again Aliana completely outshined her. Onelia and her friends was currently offending her in open thought speak, and picking at her fur. It was not the first time something like this had happened, and had it been any other female I would most likely not have noticed. However it was the object of my desire that was being harassed, and with that I broke in to a swift trot, determined to make an impression.

"Is there a problem?", I asked Onelia, sliding up beside Aliana. She looked startled for a moment, but it quickly turned into annoyance, which she masked with a charming smile. "Of course not Breeyar", she purred, flicking her tail at me. The gesture had my immediate attention. It was the typical thing for a female to do when she wanted to mate, and of course the not very subtle hint aroused me. "Good", I said, successfully hiding my sudden interest in Onelia. "Then perhaps you should leave Aliana alone", I said calmly, gazing right into her grey eyes. "Everything for you Breeyar", she said, and with that she left, her friends trailing behind her.

"Are you okay?" I asked Aliana, smiling pleasantly at her. I was pretty sure that I had impressed her now. Surely she would trust me a little more? As it turned out she was not very grateful. She slapped me, making my ears ring. I stared dumfounded at her, truly realizing that she was not like the other females in my class. "I am not made out of porcelain, and I can fend for myself", she snapped, before trotting out of sight. The others caught up with me moments later, having witnessed the slap. "Someone should put her in her place", Umin said, seemingly intrigued. "Females are not supposed to act like that". Milan seemed thoughtful for a moment, before grinning widely at all three of us. "No", he said, addressing Umin. "She does not need a beating. She is just jealous at Onelia. She likes you Breeyar, I am sure of it, but she did not like that you watched when Onelia flicked her blade". I made a who knows gesture with my stalks, not entirely sure if I should trust Milan's assessment of the situation. "Well what should I do", I finally asked him, deciding to trust him, as I always did. "Make her jealous", he replied, gesturing at Onelia's retreating frame.

I wondered if it was the right thing to do, to actually give in to Onelia's attempts at having my attention, just so that she would be jealous. Onelia would be hurt if she ever found out, but then again why should I care? She was just a female after all, or was she? Surely it was not right to intentionally hurt someone, no matter their gender, age or belief? And was this Aliana worth it? She was attractive yes, and her personality was different from the other females I had encountered, however she was not that interesting was she? Onelia was after all more classically beautiful, and she was by no means hard to get, at least not for me. Perhaps I should just leave Aliana alone, choose another female. It was not like I was old enough to marry, I was however, more than ready to mate, and like all males that age a lot of thought was put into this particular part of life.

I shook my head a little, trying to get rid of the confusing thoughts, but failing miserably. I was perfectly aware that if I wanted too I would not even have to convince half the females in my class to mate with me, but there was something wrong about that thought. If I choose to do such a thing it would be exploiting them, and I would ruin their future. No male will willingly marry a female that has already been intimate with another male. Was this fair? No, I did not think so, and yet I was considering the option.


	7. Turn up the night

**Authors note: MATURE CONTENT WARNING!!!! This story is rated M for a very good reason, say no more****. **

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**Metamorphstorm: Thanks a lot for the review, I hope you will like the chapter**

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**Valley's of tears**

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**Chapter 7:**** Turn up the night**

I will admit that I did watch her. When I was in school I would watch her from the corner of my eyes, never so that it was obvious, just so I could see the outline of her shape. Amelia, her name made the fur on my back bristle and my face heat up. Yet I kept my distance, unsure on how to approach her after her anger. I wanted her, I was not sure wheatear or not I loved her, but I was definitely attracted to her. Then again she purposefully ignored me and kept for herself, and in the end I gave up, reduced to watching her from a distance, wondering if perhaps I could have done something differently. I probably could have, but then again I had not been able to figure out exactly what. Instead I had focused my attention on beautiful, but most definitely empty headed, Onelia.

I had not openly flirted with her, just pretended to be interested when she talked to me, and occasionally given her a charming smile. It was not the same smile that I had given Amelia when we first met, but it was a decent replacement. At least Onelia seemed to think so, which was probably why she had invited me over to her families' scoop while her parents and younger brother was not at home. She had sent me a message during class, and asked me to drop by sometime after darkness. Apparently her whole family was going to some neighbor's party, and she was not feeling well. Of course she was not really sick, but her parents did not know that.

A combination of dread, nervousness and excitement rushed through me as I made my way in the direction of her family's land. I knew exactly what intentions she had with this visit, and I was pretty certain that it would be the first time for the both of us, at least for me. Of course I wanted to, but if we got caught, there would most likely be hell to pay. After only a brief moment of hesitation I ran faster, pushing this unpleasant thought away. This was not a time for hesitation, and if I got caught, so what? It was not like it would be the end of the world, at least not for me, and come to think of it I was pretty sure that it would be worth it anyway. Sex before marriage is not allowed on our society, at least not for females. Most males already have some experience, but for some irrational reason a female will have difficulties finding a suitor if she is not a virgin. I knew that Onelia would have serious problems should anyone find out, but at this point I was too exited to care. With that I skidded into a halt before Onelia's scoop, waiting for her to invite me in, as was appropriate.

She appeared moments later, eyes glimmering at the sight of me. "Breeyar! You came!", she exclaimed, and I realized that I was almost half an hour late, which was probably why she seemed so relieved to see me. "Of course", I replied, waving my stalks pleasantly at her. "I am afraid I was delayed, it was not my intention to make you worried". She smiled brightly at that, before gesturing for me to follow her inside. The scoop was luxurious and well tended, and I was once again reminded that Onelia's family was one of high standing, almost equal with mine. The ground was covered in luscious blue grass, and professional grass sculptors had arranged various flowery plants along the wall and ceiling. "You like it?", she asked me, a pleased smile in her eyes. "It is very nice", I said awkwardly, not really in the mood for small talk.

I could tell that Onelia had spent a lot of time preparing herself for me. Her fur was neatly arranged, clean and soft, with a silky gleam to it. Although I had always thought it looked nice there was a vast improvement. "Erm…..so", I nervously said, deciding that it was time to get on with it. "Are we really going to do this?" She stiffened considerably, and I felt relief flow through me as I realized she was just as inexperienced as me. At least I would not have to endure her telling me what to do, not that I really knew, but such a scenario would have been unbelievably humiliating. Milan had talked bout using a paid female, the andalite version of a prostitute. According to the government these creature did not even exist, but it was not difficult to find them. You just had to be at the right deral at the right time, and there would be tons of them. Anyway, the point was that such an affair would be embarrassing because one did not know how to act or what to do.

"I have taken merali", Onelia finally said, breaking the awkward silence that had ensued. "So that we…..you know", she stopped, flushing with embarrassment. "That is good", was my oh so intelligent answer. To be honest I felt like an idiot. Despite all my intense brooding over the past days it had not even occurred to me that I could end up making her pregnant. At least she had been smart enough to consider this possibility, and had acted accordingly. Onelia fidgeted a little, uneasily watching me as I stepped closer to her. "You should tell me if you….if you want me to stop", I said, trying, but failing miserably at being confident. I did of course know what I was supposed to do, but I was not completely certain how to do it. What if I did something wrong, hurt her or something? I tried not to dwell on the thought, and slowly reached for her.

A strange sensation flowed through me, as I carefully brushed my palms against her cheeks in the andalite version of a kiss. We locked gazes and she leaned closer, returning the gesture. A warm comfortable feeling ran though me at the touch, and it got stronger as her hands experimentally trailed down my chest and wrapped around my torso. She seemed pleased and I relaxed a little, eagerly stroking the back of her neck with firm fingers. As my hands traveled further down her body she pressed herself closer to me, and I shivered at the sensation. It felt…strange, but natural at the same time, and very pleasant. I kissed her again, more confident this time, and felt myself getting aroused as she flicked her blade at me, swinging her rear to the side. For a couple of seconds I stared dumfounded at it, before realizing what I was doing. She pushed her self up against me, her dainty, feminine frame rubbing up against my masculine one. The feeling made the fur on my back bristle, and before I knew what I was doing my hands where gently stroking her hindquarters, my mind completely off line, preoccupied with all kinds of naughty thoughts.

I tensed slightly as I felt her hands on the base of my tail, shyly feeling my fur. The sensation was pleasant and I closed my eyes for a moment, feeling hot and ready. "You are so handsome", she mumbled, her thought speak a mere whisper. I was too concentrated to answer, but grinned as she pushed her hindquarters against my hands, urging me to touch her. Hesitantly I ran my hands through her fur, while caressing her torso with the flat of my blade. She seemed to enjoy the treatment, and I twitched my tail in excitement as she spread her legs a little. The sight was beyond arousing and I breathed deeply, inhaling her scent. I felt lightheaded, almost giddy with pleasure. This time there was no hesitation, and she moaned loudly as I gently slid my hands along the underside of her tail, between her hind legs, stroking and massaging. I could feel her slender hands between my hindlegs, and shuddered as they found my arousal, fondling me. "Onelia", I gasped, not able to resist. The feeling was indescribable, and I pressed my body against hers, rubbing her harder.

She flicked her blade at me again, this time spreading her legs even more and swinging her tail to the side in an invitation. I moved around behind her, sliding my hands completely inside her as she pushed up against me, moaning. With a pleased sight I leaned down, resting my upped body on her back, whit my hands still inside her. She whimpered at the sensation, her tail caressing my belly in a very arousing manner. "Go on", she mumbled, her voice quivering with lust and excitement. I straightened up and hesitantly slid my hands down her body, before rearing up and mounting her. A soft shudder ran through the length of my body as I pushed into her, causing my fur to bristle. She tensed and shrieked in pain at first, and I registered somewhere in the back of my mind that she was very tight, and that I was causing her pain. I wrapped my arms around her torso, moving slowly back and forth, resting my chin on her shoulder, while my front legs where saddled on either side of her lower back. "Relax" I whispered huskily, trying to calm her a little. "It will get better". I had no idea if it would, and to be honest I felt too good to care. She did not reply, but closed all four eyes, shivering in a combination of lust and pain.

I gasped loader, struggling to keep my cool and to not ruin everything with coming too early. In an attempt to distract myself I started caressing her underside with my tailblade. She bucked, and I tightened my hold of her, moaning at her twisting. Although it did take quite some time she gradually started to relax, and pain was replaced by pleasure as I moved faster. She was pleased, and thus I got even more exited, pushing harder against her. I felt as if I was about to explode, an immense feeling slowly building up inside me. Her moans encouraged me, and finally the sensation reached its peak, sending me into another world. I came inside her moments later, my entire body shaking with satisfaction. For a couple of seconds I rested my body against hers, before I forced myself to continue, making sure she was satisfied.

She collapsed on the soft grass afterwards, giddy with pleasure. I was lying on top of her, still inside her, tired and satisfied from enjoying her. "Breeyar", she said after a while, her voice quivering with emotion. Unlike me she was not so caught up in the experience, and I could tell from her tone of voice that she wanted more. When I did not immediately respond she huffed impatiently, shifting underneath me. Moments later her tail slid between my legs, and I shuddered lightly as it stroked my balls, the sensation making me hard again. We where both too tired to stand so instead we remained on the ground, moving slowly against one another, enjoying. My fur was soaked with sweat and my breath was coming in rough gasps. Never before had I felt like this, never! Sure, like all males my age I knew how to satisfy myself, but that was nothing compared to this. I could not believe that I had doubted wheatear or not I would do it, I certainly would not in the future.

Finally the both of us came for a second time, too tired too continue. I rested my chin on her shoulder, my flanks heaving and tail twitching. She shook lightly underneath me as we enjoyed the aftermath, and I closed all four eyes, reveling in her scent and the feel of her body.

But despite our mutual satisfaction I could not help but wonder what it would have felt like to touch Amelia.


	8. Revelations

**Authors note: Yea, I know, this chapter is somewhat harsh. Rest assured, whatever happens you will get to know in the next chapter. Anyway I really hope you like this one, and do not hesitate to give advice or feedback:))**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!**

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**Valley's of tears**

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**Chapter 8: ****Revelations **

Waves of sharp pain traveled from the tip of my tail, and up my spine, harassing my body for what seemed like forever. It blurred my vision, and I resisted the urge to cringe as it settled firmly underneath my ears, a tremendous headache making me almost dizzy with pain. I was hit again, harder this time, but on my flank, not my tail. It hurt of course, but this time I reacted faster, and was able to parry the next blow, forcing his tail away. He attacked once more, forcing me to keep my speed and strength in order to avoid getting bruised. If there was one thing I had learned after I started training under Meradean, it was that he was harsh.

Pain was a part of life he used to say, and if you could not accept and go on with it, you could just as well give up. I had to learn to tolerate being hit, cut and bruised if I ever wanted to become a true Anza warrior, and thus I fought him back, never accepting defeat unless I was beaten unconscious. Training was particularly harsh today; while I was due to compete in my first tailfighting tournament the next morning. Tail fighting is a very important and very honorable sport among my people, but while it is equally tough no one under 16 cycles are allowed to enter. I had turned 16 a couple of months ago, and could not wait to prove my worth.

Tail fighting was my dream. That was what I wanted to do with my life, become the best tail fighter there was, become a professional. With my Anaza skills and Meradean's training this was possible, and I felt confident. Surely I did at least have a decent chance of winning. Then again I was also nervous. What if I embarrassed myself, brought shame to my family? "Breeyar! Pay attention", Meradean barked at me, brutally slashing my chest. Warm blood gushed out, and I immediately threw myself left in order to avoid his next blow. We circled each other, gazes locked and tails at the ready. I could feel how he assessed my strengths and weaknesses, evaluating my stance and movements to determine my next course of action.

This time however, I decided to do something I had not done before. I had trained under Meradean for six years, he knew me inside out, and understood me in a way no one else did. He had taught me, spent hours training me, but I had never taken the initiative during battle. Normally I would let him attack, or I would try to get behind him or near his flank to avoid blows. Never ever did I attack from up front. Such an attack demanded that I met his blow straight on, and while he was stronger and older than me such a position put me in a very dangerous place. I was smaller and he could easily slash downwards at my unprotected stalks and skull. He was also heavier and stronger, which meant that a direct blow would throw me off balance. Yet I attacked, hoping to catch him off guard.

I leaped forward suddenly and without warning, clumps of dirt and grass flying from my hooves. Everything seemed to move unnaturally slow as my hindlegs pushed my body off the ground, sending me headfirst into Meradean. At least that was what I thought. He moved out of the way a millisecond before I hit him, rearing up and around to slash at me. I reacted in a combination of instinct and training. Sliding down on my haunches to stop my momentum I spun around in a neat circle, whipping my tail up in front of me to block. Our blades collided with hard clash, sparks flying everywhere. I then aimed for his left front knee, but was forced to withdraw and duck right to avoid his tail. With an angry snort I threw my body into the air and lashed out, hoping to get at least one hit at him.

Our battle came to an abrupt end moments later, much due to my spectacular jump. Caught up in the action I had forgotten that he could jump higher than me, and found myself slammed to the ground, the sharp hooves of his front legs digging into my lower back. I squirmed uncomfortably under him, and to my relief he moved away so that I could clumsily scramble to my hooves. "Not bad", he said, eying the cuts and bruises on my body with a pleased expression. "You should do well tomorrow". I waved my stalks at him, and stretched my body, only to discover that he had given me more than a few bruises. My left shoulder was aching, and I was pretty sure that he had broken some of my ribs. At least now I could go to Onelia. A couple of hours with her would normally make everything okay again. Morphing would of course remove the cuts and bruises, but not the stiffness.

As if sensing exactly what I was planning Meradean suddenly leveled all four eyes on me, a smirk evident in his steel like gaze. "No mating before a fight young one, it will only make you sluggish", he said, a hint of amusement in his tone. I sent him an outraged look, as usual unsure on how to respond when he said such things. The affair between me and Onelia had been going on for almost a year now, and as far as I was concerned only Meradean and Milan knew about it. Perhaps some of Onelia's friends did too, but she was smart, and would never tell someone who might inform our parents. "Very well", I said, awkwardly holding onto my last shred of dignity. "Good, I am sure she will make up for it if you win tomorrow", he calmly replied, laughing at my embarrassment.

I departed moments later, only making sure to morph away my injuries before I headed for the nearby lake where I would normally meet Onelia. Our affair had become an important part of my life, not because I cared about her, but rather due to the satisfaction it gave. We tried to meet as often as possible, and unless something came up we would meet at the lake just after darkness every evening. Just as I had predicted she was there, standing by the edge of the lake, barely visible in the fading light. "Onelia", I greeted her casually, coming to stand next to her. "Breeyar", she acknowledged, eyes glittering seductively. I did not by any means care for her, but I would admit that the attraction was there, especially after all the hours I had spent with her during the last year. "I can't do anything tonight", I said, my hearts sinking when I caught the look in her eyes. "Why?", she demanded, almost pouting. "I have a competition tomorrow", I replied evenly.

She confused me, and especially the last months I had started to sense something. There was something she wanted from me, but I had no idea what this was. Whenever we mated she would look at me, search for something in my eyes, my behavior, she wanted something from me. Problem was I had no intensions of giving her anything. What I wanted from her was sex, and I had a distinct feeling that she had settled for something more…final. I forced the thought away and met her gaze, immediately recognizing the look that had bothered me so much these last months. It was more intense than usual and there was a distinct difference in the way she stood. She seemed stiff and tense, but also pleased with herself. Her features contorted in a happy smile and she lifted one of her slender hands to my cheek, carefully stroking it. I did not move a muscle, there was something wrong.

"I did not take the merali yesterday", she then said, her smile widening. I froze completely, it felt as if time itself had just stopped, leaving me despairing in this one terrible moment. She had not taken the merali, and we had mated the day before, what if? The realization struck me like lightening. What had I done? What in yaolin had I done? Shock was then replaced by anger, and I could literally feel my blood boil. "What in yaolin have you done?" I bellowed, my thought speak so load that she cringed, stumbling away from me. "What where you thinking? You have ruined my life, your own life, what in yaolin where you thinking?" My voice sounded like a stranger's, it sounded cold, yet it was also filled with despair. What if she was pregnant? Onelia shivered in front me, shrinking under my venomous gaze. "I…I…I just…I just, I love you", she whispered, the last words barely audible. "I hate you,", I sneered, knowing that it was a terrible ting to say, but too agitated to care.

I had crushed her completely, and yet I felt no remorse what so ever. The only thing I felt was despair, despair, fear and frustration. There was of course a slim possibility that she was not pregnant, but what if she was? I would bring shame to my family, I would be forced to marry someone I held next to no feelings for, but worst of all, I would be forced to take care of a child while I was still one myself. In one fluid motion I threw myself around, leaving her by the lake. My hooves thundered against the grass like hands clapping too hard and fast, like the bouldering of thunder. I ran straight through thorn clad bushes, not even sensing the pain they caused. I just ran, on one side wishing to get home as fast as possible, on the other wishing that I would never get there. As it was I made the run in an impressive 30 minutes, soaked with sweat and with shivering legs I entered the scoop.

My mother was the first to spot me, gazing at me like I was some kind of freak. "Breeyar, what is the matter?" She asked kindly, in that soft, subdued voice of hers, the voice that always used to comfort me when I was little, but that at this moment was annoying and frustrating. I could feel how a ball of emotion was slowly building up inside me, ready to explode, and when she reached out to touch me it did. "EVERYTHING IS THE MATTER!", I screamed, catching her completely of guard. With a brutal push I sent her reeling out of the way, barely having the time to regret my actions. I stumbled past her trembling frame, and scurried into my father's part of the scoop on aching legs. There was no other option, I had to tell him, and I already knew he would be furious.

He looked up from what he was doing, immediately sensing that I was somewhat unstable. I shivered nervously as he approached me. "I had an affair", I blurted out, deciding that it was better to just get it over with. He froze at my words, staring at me with obvious shock, which in a matter of seconds turned into to anger. His tail moved in flash, blood seeping from a painful cut on my chest. "Is she pregnant", he then asked, voice strained with suppressed anger. "I….I don't know", I whispered, shivering under his hard gaze. "She said she had not taken the merali yesterday". Relief flowed through me as his gaze softened, and suddenly he looked remorseful, quickly finding a cloth to press against the slash on my chest. "She tricked me", I said shamefully, deciding that despite the embarrassment of being outwitted by a female it was better to just tell him the truth. He sighted, seemingly deep in thought.

And then I did something I had never in a million years thought I would do. I started crying, sobbing quietly into his chest, longing with all of me to be a foal again, to live in a world less complicated, a world where one did not make life changing mistakes. Like such a place would ever exist.


	9. November rain

**Authors note: Okay, here comes the continuation. It is kind of depressing, and the next few chapters will most likely also be slightly "dark", if you will. Then again I assure you that it will lighten up. Anyway, I really hope you like this!!!!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!**

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**Metamorphstorm: Thank you so much for an awsome review, I really hope you will like the chapter, and do not hesitate to point out flaws;DDD**

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**Valley's of tears **

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**Chapter 9:**** November rain **

My hearts where thundering. It felt as if they where trying to crush my ribcage, like my chest was about to explode. I was sweating too, the fur on my flanks dark and dense. Some other place in the scoop I could hear my mother's even breath, and outside the rain was pouring down. Thunder was bouldering in the distance, but it was far away, at least three or four miles. I rolled heavily onto my other side, stiff and tired from all the running that previous evening. Despite the darkness of the storm it was already morning, and my father had left about an hour ago, to go for a morning run to Onelia's family. Her father was a business acquaintance of his, and thus he did at least have a decent excuse to drop by. I wondered how Onelia's father would react on the news, and what would happen to us, to a potential child. It shocked me how things could go so terribly wrong. How everything would be okay one moment, and then the next everything would fall apart. An affair was one thing, but a child! Quite frankly it could not have been worse.

I tensed momentarily as I recognized the sound of my fathers looping gallop over the brutal wind outside. My ears perked up, and the fur on my back bristled with angst, I was scared. Scared of everything, of myself, my father, my future, and over how easily I had ended up in this situation. A few moments of intense pleasure, so innocent and good, and yet that exact same enjoyment had now potentially ruined my entire future. I scurried to my hooves, and hesitantly made my way into the andalite version of what I suppose you would call a living room. It was a wide area where the entire family would gather to converse or to share illisparot. My father entered moment later, grabbing a towel to dry off his fur before leveling all four eyes at me. Then he suddenly leaped forward, embracing me in a crushing hug, which was most unlike him. I shivered slightly, before leaning into his chest, accepting the caress. "It will be okay", he said softly, gently rubbing my ears. "Everything will be okay; you have nothing to worry about, there is no child". I felt warm waves of intense relief run through me. He had said that everything would be okay. I was safe; there would be no child, no disgrace, nothing.

He squeezed me gently, stroking my ears with the tenderness only a loving parent could muster. It was the way it should be. I felt calm and relatively content, certain that everything would be okay, that he had taken care of it. A thought suddenly struck me, and I momentarily pulled away from him. "Onelia", I hesitantly said. "What happened with her? I mean, was her father really angry?" An awkward silence settled then, the only sound the hazardous thundering of the storm. I blushed slightly as I realized how childish my question had been, but pushed it away, somewhat anxious to know the answer. I did not care about Onelia, but this did not mean that I wanted her to suffer. My father sent me a penetrating gaze, clearly searching my face for clues as to what my reaction would be. My reaction to what? A sudden stab of angst struck me, made my nostrils flare and my breath uneven. I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, sensing that something was off, but unable to understand exactly what.

"Father?" I questioned, my fur on end and my tail twitching from a combination of dread and angst. The panic from the day before was starting to resurface, slowly building up inside me, making my heart beat faster. He embraced me again, but despite the pleasantness of being appreciated I found myself unable to really relax. I felt strange, almost the same way that I had felt the moment before Onelia told me she had not taken the merali. It was that complicated feeling of knowing that something terrible had happened, but not knowing exactly what. "Onelia killed herself this morning", my father said quietly, his hands never leaving my shivering back, not even when I tried to pull away. At first I felt nothing, merely emptiness as my mind struggled to comprehend the consequences of his words. Dead? What did he mean with that, surely she was not dead? At least not as in dead. And that was when I realized that she indeed was dead, and furthermore, that it was my fault.

I pulled away from him, turning around to gaze outside at the rain. The rain of the first month of winter, a rain that would soon turn into snow. A glimmering bolt of lightening flared over the dark grey sky, for a brief moment illuminating the inside of the scoop. "Are we still going to the tournament?" I asked, in a surprisingly even voice, still concentrating hard on the rain. He came to stand next to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Of course", he said quietly, rubbing my back to offer comfort. "We will leave in an hour". I expected him to move away, to leave me alone. After all that was what I wanted, and I knew that he was awfully aware. Yet he did not. Instead he merely stood there, continuing to caress my torso back, massaging my aching muscles. "She is just a female", I said out load. "Yes, she was just a female", my father agreed, calmly patting my back. I could not help but notice that he had used was, not is, as I had. This subtle difference made my eyes sore and swollen, but there were no tears, only emptiness.

We left shortly after, my father piloting our civilian craft. My mother stood back facing me, gazing outside, while I was studying the grass covered floor, intently scrutinizing every straw. My father was very pleased with my interest in tail fighting, and this had made the tournament a family outing. We would meet my grandparents and various uncles and aunts at the tournament ground. I was not nervous; I was….indifferent, that was the word. The memory of Onelia's crushed look lingered in my mind, whisking away al angst, and replacing it with dread and remorse, guilt, and of course, indifference. I did not know what to feel, how I was supposed to feel. This tournament was something I had looked forward to for months, the beginning of my career as a tail fighter. But now it suddenly seemed irrelevant. I was cold, like the icy crust that would soon settle over the now green and blue grass, as winter arrived.

We exited the craft, greeting friends and family that had come to watch. My father was smiling, the perfect example of an andalite that was in control, successful in all matters. He even had a son who enjoyed tail fighting, and a beautiful wife. His life was perfect. I struggled to be polite to my relatives, to act properly in front of my father's colleagues and military friends. It was Meradean that had suggested this particular tournament, while it was more difficult than what an andalite my age would normally participate in. Here andalites of all ages where allowed, and I would be up against princes, warriors and war princes from the academy. As he had so bluntly put it: "No guarantied victory is ever worth winning". I was not sure wheatear he was right or not, all I knew was that it would be challenging. My father had been very surprised when I stated that I wanted to enter this particular tournament, but he had trusted me when I claimed I was good enough. Perhaps because I was an Anaza, I don't know.

The storm was still raging when it was time for my first battle, thunder and lightening flashing over the sky, giving the area an almost deathly look. The spectators where assembled underneath force fields who kept the rain at bay, while the competitors were to fight in an oval shaped area of grass, in the midst of rain and thunder. Waves of rain washed over me as I entered the ring, soaking my fur in a matter of seconds. My opponent stepped forward too, finding his place opposite me. He was about 25, strong and powerful, a warrior. "He smiled slightly as he caught sight of me, openly admiring my looks, before meeting my gaze sternly. "Are you sure you are not too young for this….. handsome?" He then asked, eyes glittering with obvious amusement. I ignored him, and purposefully found my fighting stance, emptying my head of all thoughts, and then I attacked.

Our blades clashed together, our eyes locked, and sparks erupted as the both of us blocked and slashed at an unbelievable speed. His green eyes bored into my golden ones, daring me to make a mistake. And in a flash it was no longer his eyes, it was Onelia's, looking at me with that awful, crushed look, a look of hurt, of betrayal. I had not betrayed her, I had not! She had betrayed me! I threw myself forward, attacking with a sudden and unpredictable rage, forcing him to withdraw. He tried to get around me, to get close, so that he could exploit his superior strength. I carefully spun away from him, following the demanding gusts of wind that twirled around us. He tried to follow, tried to find a suitable opening. But there was none, only emptiness, terrible, aching emptiness.

I could hear Onelia's voice in my mind, the scared yet hopeful way she had addressed me when she declared her love. Love, that was the reason why she had wanted to mate with me, even though she knew the consequences, probably even better than I did. She had hoped, for all these months she had hoped that there could be something more between us. I had crushed that hope the moment she voiced her wish, I had destroyed her. NO! It was just much her fault as it was mine! It was her choice! Yet I knew deep down, that it was my words, my actions, that had forced her to make it. I felt anger and frustration flow true me, and I attacked my opponent fiercely, desperately trying to distract myself from Onelia, from my guilt, from everything. I got in a good hit on his left knee, and gracefully avoided his tail, smacking him hard across the flank. But the images where still there, and they kept coming, consuming me in their terrible simplicity.

Her eyes, her voice, her tears, the desperate look in her eyes when I screamed at her. It was all there, just in the back of my mind, nagging at me, harassing me. I stepped swiftly aside, avoiding a swipe of his tail that would most likely have crushed my shoulder. Then I threw myself around smashing my tail brutally into his lower back, then his flank, before I finally pushed him to his knees, pressing my blade against his throat. The judge declared me the winner and I stepped away, withdrawing my tail. His scrambled to his hooves, and smiled widely at me. "That was very impressive young one", he said, eyes glimmering with honesty. His eyes reflected an open and cheerful personality, but they also reflected lust. Despair filled me at this realization. I wanted to be alone, to think, not being flirted with by some warrior twice my age. "You really where excellent", the warrior repeated. But I did not listen to him.

A figure stood not too far away, hidden behind a heap of threes. I recognized the outline of his frame immediately. Even at the distance I caught a glint of the steel like eyes, and the distinct stripes on his back. Understanding, he was radiating understanding, but even as I watched him I knew that he did not understand fully. Only I could, because I was the one that was guilty.


	10. A twist of fate

**Authors note: Okay, here we go, another chapter. For those of you who read FW a old character is introduced. I know this chapter is not as angsty as the previous one, but I assure you, the next one will be:) Enjoy!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!:D**

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**Metamorphstorm: Thank a lot for yet another review, great that you like the story!!!! Hope will like the chapter:D:D**

**KEWL: Although I do not know what pie means;) I assume it is positive, and I am delighted that you enjoy the story:D:D Please do not hesitate to point out flaws, and I hope you will continue reading:D:D Thank a lot for the review!!!!!**

**thecrimsontag: Haha:)) thanks a lot for a very funny and very inspiring review!!! It is great that you find inspiration in this story, and that you like it. Your suggestions regarding the plot where very interesting, and I will perhaps incorporate them in another setting later in the story, thank you!!! I really appriciate that you gave such a long and informative review, and hope that you will like this chapter as well. I'd love to check out this story you mentioned btw. Anyway, thanks a lot:D:D**

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**Valley's of tears**

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Chapter 10: **A twist of fate**

The rain lessened as the day went on, and by midday the storm had passed, allowing the three suns to dry up the landscape. Golden beams of light made the dense grass glimmer in all shades of silvery green and blue, and the kafit birds had emerged from hiding, squeaking happily amongst the trees. It had turned out be a nice day, at least concerning the weather. I had battled six other males so far, and had won every single one without much effort, now there was only the final left. My father was strutting with pride, and my family was pleased. I was the youngest competitor that had ever entered such a tournament, and I was doing well. Despite this I was not pleased, not happy, I felt nothing. When people walked up to me in order to congratulate me with my progress, I merely smiled emptily at them, thanked them politely, and went on so that I would not have to answer more questions.

It was a very strange feeling, this emptiness that seemed to have settled in my soul, in the core of my being. It was eating at me, slowly tearing me apart. Would it go away? I hoped so, because I did not know for how long I could go around like this. And it would get worse, I knew it would. Tomorrow everyone at school would know that Onelia had taken her own life. But they would not know why. Milan would, and perhaps a couple of Onelia's friends, but that was it. I would have to pretend to not know anything, and yet it was my fault. Everything was my fault. "You seem awfully moody, considering you have just moved on to the final". The thought speak voice made me jump, and I spun around, surprised to discover that someone had actually managed to sneak up on me. A tall, handsome male stood about a meter away from me, glimmering deep green eyes studying me with interest. His gaze wandered shamelessly over my body, before his forest green orbs clashed with my golden ones.

I frowned at his obvious attraction and approval of my looks, irritated that he did not even bother to hide it. Confidence radiated from him, the sort of confidence that comes with knowing exactly who you are and what you wish to do with your life. I found him….intimidating. He edged closer, and I straightened by back, my tail twitching dangerously. I was not sure how to respond to his question, so I ended up keeping silent, waiting for him to say something more. "So, you are not going to answer my question?" he inquired, rising an eyebrow and waving his stalks in mock disapproval. "Not all questions deserve answers", I snapped, my tone sharper than I had intended. "Really", he said, not sounding overly concerned with my impoliteness. "I take it you will not tell me what is bothering you then?" He stated, a hidden question in his words. I sent him an outraged look, barely able to resist rolling my eyes at him. "Would you tell some idiotic stranger about your worries?" I rudely asked, deciding that enough was enough.

To my surprise he was not offended, he merely laughed at my defiance, his intense green eyes glimmering in a very attractive way. "Perhaps not, but I can't help but wonder why such a fine young male like you, an excellent tailfighter, unbelievably handsome, seems so depressed?" He said, sending me a charming smile. Not for the first time grateful that my Anaza stripes hid my blush, I huffed and turned around, trying to get away from him. I found him very unsettling, he saw right through me, and I had a distinct feeling he already knew, or at least suspected, why I was upset. To my surprise he did not take the hint, he merely followed, casually strolling alongside me, stalks admiring my hindquarters. "Go away", I said, knowing that I was acting childishly, but deciding that this did not matter. "And if I don't?" He asked, eying me with amusement. I stopped abruptly, sending him a death glare with my main eyes. Perhaps I should attack him, make him regret ever approaching me in the first place. Then again he had seen me fight, and he did not seem overtly concerned with the prospect of me attacking. He was also very nicely built, with powerful muscles and a toned body. He was probably a decent tailfighter, okay, an excellent tailfighter. At least that was what his built suggested.

We locked gazes, and I could see the smirk evident in his eyes when he realized that I was considering attacking him. His amusement angered me, he did not regard me as a threat, and I wanted him too. I wanted him to be afraid, but I was terribly aware that he was not even in the slightest afraid of me. Then again I will admit that I found him attractive. Unlike most of my friends, who had already done it with another male, I had never been very interested in such a relationship. It is common in our society that males have other male lovers, or fuck friends as Milan called it. "What do you want?" I finally asked him, slowly taking a few steps back. He sighted, eying me with a sudden seriousness. "I wish to give you an offer", he began, clearly expecting some kind of reaction from me. I gave him nothing, merely stared at him, allowing indifference and emptiness to seep into my gaze. His eyes narrowed at this, but he did not say anything, he merely watched me. "You are sixteen, you have one year to decide what you wish to do with your life. You could be a scientist, a researcher, a doctor….The possibilities are endless, but I don't think this is something for you", he said, green eyes boring into mine.

"And what makes you think you know what I want better than I do myself?" I asked, a dangerous edge to my voice. For some reason he had hit a nerve, although I was not completely sure which one. His face was now expressionless, the indifferent mask that all military personnel seemed to have. "My name is war prince Foorlan Corrath Gahar, I am head of the Special Forces", he finally said, eyes hard and cold with determination. "As you know we only accept a few into our ranks, and only the best…..Come to me in one year if you are interested". And with that he promptly left, calling a casual good luck over his shoulder. I stood there, eyes bulging like some idiot. What had just happened, what in yaolin had just happened? When he said he had an offer all kinds of inappropriate thoughts had popped up in my mind. It had never occurred to me that there could be something else. I did not know much about the SF, all I knew was that it was harsh, and also that it was most definitely something I did not want to do. Then again I had to admit that I was indeed flattered. Deep down I was dissapointed too, a small part of me wished that his offer had involved what I had originally thought. I found the thought appealing, very actually.

I stood staring after him for a while, before I hesitantly headed for the competition ground. A gust of wind washed over me and a sudden feeling of finality settled in my hearts. Somehow I knew that I would always remember this day, because it would be life changing. I could smell the faintest trace of Meradean's scent on the wind, and this confirmed my revelation. He would not have been here unless he thought it was important. Of course he had come to offer comfort and support, but as always with Meradean, I knew that all the actions he took meant something more, something deeper. He knew things, and although I had long since given up on understanding how and what, I did to some degree know that the encounter with this Foorlan had been important. It is that feeling, or instinct, that makes you aware of things, although you do not completely grasp their essence. I shock my head a little, trying to clear my thoughts. My final match was due to start in a couple of minutes, and I needed all the concentration I could possibly muster. I was up against war prince Gafinilan, a hero among the people, and a very, very, very accomplished fighter and pilot.

After a couple of backslaps and encouraging words from my father and grandfather I entered the competition ground, finding my stance opposite Gafinilan. He was huge, probably the biggest andalite I had ever seen. He was very tall too, four heads taller than me, and his body was literally bulging with muscles. Despite his size however, my tailblade was longer than his, and I could tell from his scrutinizing gaze that he was somewhat intrigued by this. As an Anaza my blade was longer and broader than that of a regular andalite, which was an advantage on my part. I tensed slightly as a bell chimed in the background, indicating that the fight had begun. For a moment the both us stood unmoving, merely assessing each other. An aerie silence consumed the competition ground, the air literally charged with tension. Then we started circling each other, testily watching the others movements.

This fight would be different from the previous ones, there was no doubt. Gafinilan was more experienced, more skilled, and unlike my previous opponents he did not underestimate me. He merely watched, trying to get an impression of my fighting style. Then again I knew that this could be a problem. Although Meradean was by far superior to Gafinilan, he did not have Gafinilan's over dimensioned built, and thus I was not used to fighting someone four heads taller than me. He was undoubtedly also heavier, and I was pretty sure that a direct hit from his blade would send me spinning to the other side of the arena. This meant that I would have to be very careful. I would have to rely on my speed and endurance more than what I was used to.

Gafinilan abruptly threw himself around, and I sensed that he was considering to attack. As I had predicted he did, and leaped at me, the ground literally shaking under his enormous hooves. I easily dodged him, gracefully stepping aside, but I instantly knew that this was merely a test. He was trying to get an impression of how fast I was, and thus I had not moved very fast, only just enough to avoid his tail. I would need all the advantaged I could get. He turned and came for me again, slower this time, trying to get up close, where he could use his superior weight and strength to trap me against the railing. I reacted immediately, moving to the middle of the arena, where he could not as easily reach me. He was approaching sideway, his flank facing me, which meant that he would most likely try and trick me into attacking. It was a play on my limited experience, a bait, which I purposefully ignored. I could not attack him from the side in such a manner without risking a hit. And I would not be able to withstand more than a few hits from his tail, it was not worth the risk.

Instead I suddenly shoot forward, approaching him in a flat out gallop. Satisfaction was radiating from him, as he thought I would take the bait, attacking head on. But I did not. At the last moment I scurried to the side, slashing at his other flank as I blasted past. It was by no means a fatal hit, but I could tell that I had most likely broken a couple of bones. Moments later I his frame thundered into mine, sending me reeling, and I spun left, barely able to avoid his tail. That had caught me off guard. He had simply jumped at me, and my entire right side was aching. I swiftly backed away as he approached me again, tail flashing. The way he moved suggested that my hit had been good, while his left arm was at an odd angle, but his hit had been better, and he knew. I decided to surprise him and threw my body forward, blocking his tail right on. The impact almost struck me off balance and I was forced down on my haunches to avoid falling.

We went at an even rhythm, circling each other, tails flashing. And to my surprise I felt alive, truly alive. Suddenly everything else was forgotten, Onelia, Foorlan, everything. It was only the two of us, blocking and slicing at each other, eyes locked. We where dancing, and exited shouts echoed all around us, but I did not hear them. My attention was directed at the fight, my entire being committed to beating him. When he got in a hit I barely felt the pain, it was irrelevant, and thus it did not bother me. I felt as if I was in some sort of haze, twirling and dancing around him, my tail moving like lightening.

When he fell I barely registered it, and when I was declared the winner I did not pay attention. It did not matter; all that mattered was that I felt alive, truly alive. And then it was over, the feeling disappeared, and was once again replaced by that terrible indifference. I had won, and I did not give a damn.


	11. Winterkiss

**Authors note: MATURE CONTENT WARNING! The last couple of pharagraphs contains slash, don't like don't read. Other than this enjoy, and i really hope you will like it:D:D**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!:))**

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**Metamorphstorm: Thank you so much for another lovely review!!!! It is great that you like this story, and I am really, really grateful that you whee willing to give it a serious chance after what happened to FW:)) Anyway, please tell me if you have any suggestions, and i really hope you will like the chapter:D:D**

**TheCrimsonTag: Thank you so much for a wonderful review!!!! It is always great to get reviews like yours, that are so long and filled with suggestions and advice. I really, really appriciate it. I am glad that you liked the SF part, while this will be very important in the sequel and please, do not hesitate to point out flaws. Btw I did get inspired by that extra review you gave. I have to admit that I have written the last two chapters so quickly much because of your reviews. Anyway, thank you so much for a great review, and i really hope you will like the chapter:D:D**

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**Valley's of tears**

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**Chapter 11: Winterkiss **

Snow came early that year, two months before it usually did. In a matter of hours there was only white as far my eyes could see, and we could only feed in certain areas, where crystal blue winter grass suppressed the snow. The forest had been transformed into a winter wonderland, glimmering snow crystals dangling from the branches. It was cold too, and frosty smoke erupted from my nostrils when I breathed. It was now two months since I had won the tournament, and since then I had participated in two other competitions. I had easily won both. My father was thrilled, and I had become somewhat of a celebrity, an up and coming tailfighting genius. I was of course pleased that I had brought honor to my family, that I was successful, that my dream was about to come true. But then again it did not bring me as much satisfaction as I had always imagined. Suddenly being one of the best tailfighters on the homeworld did not matter anymore. Nothing mattered; I was just empty and indifferent, struggling to come to terms with everything. Tailfighting had become my relief. I did not get an immense happiness out f it, but I did not feel empty either. When I fought I was alive, I actually felt something. I suppose that something would always be better than nothing.

I had discussed what had happened with Milan a couple of times, talked about it, told him about the details. He had taken it pretty well, and to my surprise he did not at all blame me. Like most males would do he had just said something about females being stupid and crude creatures, told me to move on, that it was not my fault, and then we had stopped discussing it. Meradean's assessment had been similar, although he had chosen a somewhat different approach. He understood me, and had thus decided to try and lift my mood in an other way. We had gone to the Euphoria, a formation of mountains with caves that was filled with tailblade inscriptions. These had been made by the early Anaza tailfighting masters, thousands of years before. It was an aerie place, a place I would never forget. I had to admit that Meradean's plan had indeed worked, at least to some degree. We had gone in the middle of the night, in order to avoid my parents, and had snuck past the guards at the entrance of the area. It had been a wonderful experience, and it had lifted my mood the tiniest bit. At least I had gotten my concentration back, and I felt more….normal.

Of course I was different. Onelia's suicide had changed me, and I was not sure wheatear or not things would ever be the same again. Somehow I knew that it would not, and this made me sad. Before all this mess everything had been so easy. There was no guilt, no depression, no problems worth mentioning. Now everything was different, complicated, and I had come to realize that I had no idea who I was anymore. Perhaps I had not known before either, but then this had not been important, no it was. At least for me. I needed understanding, I longed to comprehend and accept who and what I was, without compromising. Yet I found myself unable to do so. Instead I hated what I had become, what I had always been. I was an Anaza, a ruthless warrior, it was in my nature to be brutal, it was in my nature to kill. When Meradean and Milan claimed that Onelia's death was not my fault I did not believe them, I couldn't. Not because I did not want to, but because words can kill an andalite just as easily as a tailblade or a shredder. Physically I had not killed her, but indirectly I had.

Soft powder like snow was kicked up by my hooves as I ran, the glimmering crystals sticking to my fur, giving it a silvery gleam. I was headed for Meradean's, hoping to get some advice for a problem I had recently encountered in school, along with training of course. It was not something serious, minor actually, compared to my conflicted feelings about Onelia. Then again I knew I would have to do something. I was now in my last year of school, and our history lessons were therefore centered on the Anaza. It was a somewhat difficult subject for me to participate in, it made me feel like a test subject. Our book centered around the Anaza culture, their physique, everything that I possessed, that I did not want people to know about. It was frustrating to say the least, and I had no idea how to handle it. My classmates would look at me with a combination of awe and interest, ask uncomfortable questions, and generally pissing me off. However this was not my main problem.

The day before we had had a visitor, a famous history professor, one which claimed to be an Anaza expert. Needless to say he had been extremely interested in me, and I had no idea how to get him off my back. I kicked my hooves in frustration at the thought, and skidded into a halt at the edge of the river that marked the beginning of Meradean's land. It had become surprisingly wild during the autumn, which had prevented the water from freezing. I edged closer to the edge, bending down to look at my reflection in the glimmering water. For some reason seeing my own face made me angry, more so than I had ever imagined. I could feel my blood boil in my veins, my tail twitching and my fur bristling with rage. That was what had made everything so difficult, that face, that handsome face with golden eyes and black stripes that gazed back at me with anger, that was the cause of everything. Something snapped in me then, something broke, and an undercurrent of suppressed feelings and worries thundered through me.

I don 't know why I did it, what made me think that such and action would make it easier. With a frustrated scream I lifted my tail, slashing myself in the face. I managed to make four cuts, two on one cheek, one over my left eye and then one on my other cheek. Then the pain became unbearable and I collapsed in a pathetic heap, burying my face in the snow to lessen the pain. I could have morphed at once, I probably should have. But I did not like morphing anymore. I could have chosen to become a nohtlit, that would have solved at least some of my problems, that way I would not have stood out to such an extent. Then again I loved myself to much; I wanted to be handsome, to be noticed, although I found this difficult to admit. I wanted to be special; despite the pain this had caused me and others. I was pathetic, self-absorbed, a true coward. Wave after wave of pain surged through me, and tears started pouring from my main eyes. Blood was oozing from my self inflicted wounds, giving the snow a deep blue color. There was blood everywhere actually, on my face, my hands, my chest, in the snow. With a frustrated yelp I rolled over on my other side, my entire body shaking, and that was when I spotted him.

Meradean was standing at the other side of the river, staring at me with something close to shock. "Breeyar", he called, shock and….worry, evident in his tone. With an elegant leap he entered the river, approaching in a flat out gallop. For a brief moment I just lied there, wondering what to do, and then I scrambled to my hooves in a vain attempt at getting away from him. He was by my side moments later, reaching out to take a gently hold on my face, to wipe the blood away. "Breeyar! You silly, emotional idiot! What have you done?" His voice seemed strained, emotional, and I started morphing my kafit. Feathers replaced fur, my bones twisted and changed direction, and then I changed back again, any evidence of my idiocy gone. Meradean gave me a stern look, his hand grasping my shoulder tightly. "We are going to my scoop", he said, pushing me forward with his tail. I stumbled along obediently, my back shivering, and eyes swollen. The implications of what I had done hit me like a bucked of icy water and the shivers got worse, making my already sore muscles ache.

"Hurting yourself won't help anyone you know", Meradean said softly, as we entered his scoop. It was very nice, luxurious and roomy with a comfortable temperature and well tended grass. "Becoming a nothlit would", I said, earning and outraged look. "That would certainly not solve anything", he sad in a low voice. "No matter which form you chose you will still be the same Breeyar, with the same worries and the same despair". I met his gaze, the both of us knowing that I would never do such a thing. I was too weak I reflected bitterly, shivering he did something unexpected, catching me completely off guard. He pressed both palms against my cheeks, kissing me in the andalite fashion. His steel like eyes bored into mine, looking for some kind of negative response. Instead I leaned against him, accepting the caress with half closed eyes.

It was very different, compared to being kissed by Onelia. Then I was the dominant one, the one to take control and decide. No I was not, and although it was a little unsettling it was also very arousing. His hands trailed testily down my chest, stroking and massaging in gentle circles. It had a very relaxing effect, and I closed all four eyes, leaning heavily against him, burying my face in his chest. "Hush", he comforted, hands moving to caress my torso back and shoulders. I whimpered, wondering what in yaolin I was doing, having sex with Meradean. The prospect was appealing, but it was also frightening. He was stronger and older, and could easily overpower me. Then again I trusted him, probably more than I would ever trust anyone else. He pulled me closer, his tail firmly stroking my hindquarters. It felt good; the felling made my fur bristle in delight and excitement. Hesitantly, and not without fear I stroked his chest, the unfamiliar sensation sending soft shivers through my body. It was very strange, to touch another male in such a way, but it was not unpleasant, and soon I found myself completely caught up in the moment, everything else seeping away.

There was a brief battle for dominance, which I lost, and then he jumped at me, arms around my torso, while his tail caressed my underside. It was quite uncomfortable at first, but after a few pushes it got unbelievably pleasant, and I gripped tightly onto the wall with my arms, to prevent myself from falling. I could feel his hands massaging my chest as he pushed against me, stroking and rubbing. "Are you okay?" He asked me, resting his head on my shoulder. I felt too good to bother answering, and he chuckled lightly at my expression when he found that sensitive spot between my shoulder blades. It felt wonderful, and my entire form shook as he continued the treatment, making me aroused beyond recognition. I moaned his name a couple of times, encouraging him to move faster. He did not obey, seemingly more interested in making it last a little longer. I growled angrily at him, brutally slapping him with the flat of my blade, it annoyed me that he would not move faster. "Why so impatient", he asked me, laughing. "You are making me angry", I replied, receiving another laugh.

We went on for hours on end, only pausing when I was too tired to continue. Then I curled up against his side, resting my head on his back, enjoying the aftermath. I felt better, much better. The emptiness had been replaced by a deep satisfaction, and I showed the memory of Onelia to the back of my mind, burying it with every intention of forgetting it. Suddenly I felt so safe, and what had happened on the river bank was not important anymore. I just snuggled close to him, enjoying the feeling of his hands on my back. Perhaps what I had just done was not the smartest thing to do, but deep down I did understand that I needed it, badly.


	12. The end of the line

**Authors note: PLEASE READ THIS!!! Okay, this is the last chapter of part one, and no, the story does not end here. The first chapter of the second part will hopefully be up by tomorrow evening. Look out for "The son of the wind", which is the name of the sequel for Valley's of Tears. **

**Anyway, i hope you like the chapter, and PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!**

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Metamorphstorm: Thanks a lot for a great review!!!! I am delifgted that you like the interaction between Meradean and breeyar, and especially that you think he is still the same. As you pointed out it was not so easy to keep him at least partly unchanged, and I am glad that you think I did. I hope you like the chapter, and will be on the look out for the sequel:D:D

TheCrimsonTAg: Awsome review!!!!! And I loved the cinstructive critisism, which i definetely will take into consideration. I really do agree with you that Breeyar's indifference has gotten a little too much, and I really glad that you pointed this out. Anyway, this is the last chapter, but the story will continue in the sequel(first chapter will be up tomorrow), and the characters you mentioned will return while they have importanht roles to play in the continuation. Anyway, I really hope you will like this, and as always, point out all the flaws you can find:DD

BTW: I put in the AN abd all that stuff after I have uploaded it, in the document manager area:))

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**Valley's of tears**

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**Chapter 12: ****The end of the line**

The crowd was cheering madly, tails smashing against the railing, hands clapping rhythmically, and hundreds of thought speak voices where shouting encouragements. The sensation was divine, and I could not help but grin as I spotted Milan, Umin and Frhoolin in the VIP area, along with my family. This was it, the final match of the event that I had been training for my whole life, the tailfighting finals.

During the last four months I had slowly fought myself up the ranking list, the goal being a place in the most prestigious tail fighting competition there was, and I had done it. Never before had I been as proud of myself as I was now. This was my dream, and I actually had a decent chance at winning. At least Meradean had said so, and as always I trusted his judgment. The cheers escalated as I entered the arena, andalites of all shapes and seizes leaning forward to get a good look at me. Despite my success no one had really expected me to do this well. Competing in tournaments in my area was one thing, battling males from all the other regions on the other hand, well that had brought things to a whole new level. If I won I would be the youngest winner in andalite history. There was only this one match left, and despite my nervousness I knew deep down that I could not have been better prepared.

"Breeyar, marry me please!" Someone shouted, and I spotted a female that was waving hysterically at me in the VIP area. Moments later I caught sight of my father's outraged look, and Milan's rude smirk. It made me smile. The last months had been good for me, and I had recovered from the disaster with Onelia. Now I rarely thought about her, at least not to the extent that I used to. I still felt guilt, but I ignored it, pushed it away, and suppressed it. My father had even managed to get that annoying Anaza expert off my week before I had gone to a Deral again, and this time there had been no uproar. Of course people had stared, but I had become somewhat of a celebrity, and no one bothered me so then there was no problem. Once again I was happy, pleased with my life. After spending that one night with Meradean I had gotten my life back, at least that was what it felt like. We had not repeated it, although I found myself cherishing the memory. Occasionally he would display unusual amounts of attention, touching me more than what was appropriate, but there was nothing more.

In a way I was relieved that our relationship had not changed, but I would also wonder what could have been. I knew that if I took the initiative there could be more, but as of now I was not completely sure if I wanted too. A more….binding relationship would mean more rules, more things I could not do. I wanted freedom, in every meaning of the word, and at the moment, I was pretty sure that was exactly what I had. Then again there was also the fact that my interest in females by far outshined my attraction to males, with the exception of Meradean perhaps, and thus I saw no reason to start a more complicated relationship. And of course, Amelia, deep down I knew that it was because of her, and I hated myself for it. I knew that I would most likely never have her, and yet, young and naïve as I was, I kept hoping. Of course, had I put all my willpower into it, then perhaps I could have had my way with her. But I was conflicted, unsure of what I really wanted from her. On one side I knew that my interest was mostly due to physical attraction, and yet I also knew that I did not find it in my heart to exploit her, like I had already done with several other females. It was confusing.

I inhaled deeply, emptying my mind from thoughts, trying to focus all my attention at what was happening before me. My opponent stood on the other side of the arena, tall and poised, a warrior, and a quite famous one at that. I was up against war prince Elfangor. It was not even necessary to mention his whole name; Elfangor was enough, by far. Elfangor the beast, as the yeerks called him, a great warrior and hero of countless battles, the one individual the yeerks feared more than anyone else. It would probably be one of the most memorable battles of all time. Me, the youngest participant to ever reach the finals, against the military's finest warrior. Waves of nervous energy surged through me at the thought, and I tensed slightly as we approached each other, stopping at the appropriate distance. "Good luck Breeyar", he said, smiling kindly at me. "I wish you luck as well", I replied honestly, slightly taken aback at his informal way of addressing me. Elfangor seemed different than other princes I had met, more humble, and perhaps a tad childish. I liked him. With that the battle started, and whatever approval I felt towards him disappeared. He was now an opponent, nothing more.

In the beginning we merely circled each other, jumping and dancing left and right in a show off for the crowd. His style was different from most warriors, at least the ones I had fought in previous tournaments. In a way it reminded me more about the Anaza way of fighting, rather than the typical military style most warriors seemed to have adapted. I blocked his first attack with a slide, testing his strength before dancing sideways, trying to steer his blow down against the ground. He reacted immediately, and countered my move with a swift sidestep, once again out of my reach. I changed tactic and choose to attack head on, tail flashing, be blocked my blows with ease, and I his, although the both of us knew that this was by no means a real fight. This was only the start, and it would soon get a lot harsher.

I took the first hit, and a sharp stab of pain ran through me, as dark blood oozed from a nasty gash across my chest. That is what makes the finals so harsh, it is allowed to hurt your opponent with the sharp side of your blade, as long as you do not kill or completely incapacitate him. It was a good hit on Elfangor's part, this I would admit, and I could already feel a slight stiffness in my torso, slowing me down. Then again I had been fighting Meradean for almost seven years, I was used to blood and pain, I would survive. Moments later I managed to trick him, and gave him two serious cuts, one on his flank, and one along his spine. I had hit him good, and to my surprise I could see approval in his eyes. It struck me then that his main goal was not to win, it was merely to have a good fight. His lack of ambition surprised me, but it also caused me to feel a considerable amount of envy. Of course my main reason for being here was because I loved tail fighting, but I was also here because I wanted recognition, because I needed it. Elfangor was only here for the fun of it, he did not need praise or recognition, because he knew who he was.

The battle gradually got more brutal, and after an hour the both of us where soaked with sweat, blood and dirt, neither giving up. I had taken several hits, he had even managed to push me to the ground, and thus broken some of my ribs. Then again his entire back was a mess of dark blue blood, clearly bearing marks from my tail. At this point no one had the advantage, we where pretty even, but I could tell that he was tired, and I was confident that I would last longer than him. "You know you are going to win don't you?" He suddenly asked, addressing me in private thought speak. His words caught me off guard, surprised me, but I did not lose concentration. "What makes you say that", I replied guardedly. "So far we seem to be pretty even". He laughed at that, eyes glimmering as I blocked yet another aggressive slash from his tail. "You are better", he simply said, sounding surprisingly pleased. "How can you say that?" I asked him, somewhat disturbed. The great Elfangor had not turned out to be the way I had presumed. "Don't you want to win?" I continued, unsure on how to act around him.

The battle continued for a couple of minutes before he answered, and his words intrigued me. "I want this match to be fair, and it is only fair that the best tailfighter wins. Quite frankly this is the best match I have ever had, who wins is irrelevant. You should always remember Breeyar, that ambition can easily turn into arrogance and stupidity. Be realistic, and you may live a long and healthy life". The last sentence was said with humor, and I watched him intently, wondering what was so funny. Elfangor really was a strange andalite, he was so…untraditional. And that was something I could admire, because acting out in our society takes a great deal of courage. In the end I won, as he had said I would, and I knew in my heart that it indeed had been a fair march, a fair victory. I bowed humbly before him, told him that it had been an honor, which it had. He merely smiled at my behavior, said something about the pleasure being on him, and then he left, disappearing amongst hungry fans.

It was the best that had ever happened to me, winning against Elfangor. And I knew that it would not have been the same beating someone else. I would remember this day for the rest of my life, I would cherish it. Milan actually kissed me when I managed to get to him through the crowd, and I started laughing like a complete nuthead, truly realizing what had just happened. I had won, claimed the title as the best tailfighter on the homeworld. "You where amazing", Umin bellowed, madly shaking me. I merely went along with it, lightheaded and extremely pleased with myself. We went to my scoop afterwards, my mother having organized a huge party on my behalf. Family and friends where there, along with some of my father's colleagues. It was great, it truly was. Sharing illisparot, conversing, being complimented, I felt great, until I met one very special individual.

His blazing, deep green eyes stood out against the background, made everyone else seem smaller and less important. He was very attractive, but not as attractive as Meradean. There was now four months since I had met him at that first fateful tailfighting tournament, and as I had expected, he looked exactly the same. He was just as tall, just as strong, and just as intimidating as the last time I had laid eyes on him. "Hello Breeyar", he said, coming to stand next to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "War prince Foorlan", I acknowledged, suddenly tense and uptight. He made me uncomfortable, insecure, he made me feel small and insignificant, and yet he also made me feel noticed. "Congratulations, you have truly become great", he said, his voice surprisingly soft, almost husky. "Thank you", I said, my voice strained. His hand tightened a little, grasped my shoulder harder, as he purposefully led me away from the party.

"Have you considered my offer", he asked, sending me a sidelong glance which I could not quite place. "Yes, and I don't think I wish to accept it", I quickly responded. We where now on the other side of the scoop, strolling next to each other along the edge of the lake. He was silent for a while, seemingly contemplating my words. "You are sure?" He asked, stopping to gaze intently at me with all four eyes, a rare thing to do for a warrior. "You could become great, make a difference, you could be someone". His words struck me harder than I would admit, and I felt doubt fill me. There was after all more to life than tailfighting, and perhaps the SF would be just the thing for me. I met his gaze then, green eyes boring into mine, and as we stared at each other I could see victory in his eyes, and I knew then, that I had wordlessly agreed to do something that would change my life forever. I would join the war.

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**CONTINUES IN THE SEQUEL "THE SON OF THE WIND"**


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